So yesterday, I ended up on the receiving end of some trollish vitriol. Not on this page, but a similar public woman's forum style page.
The topic was about something pretty mundane/typical parenting question. I left my comments, not even really expecting a response because it was a pretty basic answer, certainly not controversial in any way. I went about my business for a few hours, forgetting I even commented on the post, when I sat down with a cuppa and decided to have a scroll on FB. I was met with half a dozen replies to my comment by a woman, another member of this community - it wasn't even like it was a fake, faceless troll profile - calling me names, taking my comment so far out of context to try and make me look like i said something insulting, throwing around personal attacks from what she'd concocted in her mind about me and even bought my husband and kids into it that she assumed I had!
(I do have a husband and kids but she couldn't have known that, i didnt divulge any personal info in my comment and my profile is locked up tight).
Now, I am always up for a spirited (yet respectful) debate, I'm also pretty open minded so I'm not the type of person to get shitty because someone doesn't agree with me so it wasn't like that. This was personal and vicious, she was really trying to get a rise out of me, my lack of response seeming to make her go harder.
Luckily, I'm fairly thick skinned. This didn't have the negative impact on me that was intended, if anything I found it amusing and a bit pathetic but so many others who are victims of such online behaviour are much more sensitive to it, I can imagine the effect this could potentially have on a person who may already be in a fragile state of mind or a person who is a frequent target of such things.
I guess my question is why?
Why do people do this? Is it the thrill? Are they bored? Is it an escape from their own reality? Is it the lack of any real immediate consequences?
I would just love to know what goes through a person's mind when they write something so degrading, so full of hate and even a deliberately patronising incredulity or self appointed superiority directed at a person they don't even know?
I'm really curious, what makes people like this tick?!
Has anyone here ever written a really vicious response that they regret? I'd be interested to hear your perspective?
How many people have also been on the receiving end of these types of comments?
General thoughts on the topic?
Maybe we can all learn something with this and it should go without saying, keep it respectful!
9 Replies
I too have noticed that people take a comment and then add a lot of assumptions. I think the tricky thing with human psychology is that we are often bias to our own experience and so judge accordingly. I do think some people must have to much time on their hands and so get on their soap boxes anonymously!
Some people are just rotten on the inside and get a thrill out of upsetting others. Attacking others makes them feel good about themselves. Warped minds, bad character.
It’s just school yard bullying next level.
Because some people are just shit human beings.
Honestly I think people are often really insecure and project these insecurities by attacking in anger. I also once posted to a mum forum asking something and got absolutely hammered. I sat back and thought why the hell would anyone care what I do with my kids (as long as they are happy healthy not abused etc) but then I thought people probably feel like the world is out to get them sometimes and rather than looking deeper into themselves they lash out at others. I completely get where you are coming from and it can sting when it is about your parenting especially but im glad you can see its them not you. I kind of feel sorry for them in a way. They put others down to make themselves feel better and that's just sad.
This happens to me this week.
I bought a little old 22 year old car as a fun car. I had it a week and it blew up.
I got it towed Machanic said it was too expensive to fix just sell it on.
He told me to put $5000 on it.
I put it on market place and Gumtree.
I had people picking on the price, in fight between other people.
From Gumtree I received absolutely abusive emails in response.
One I replied as she would let up with heckling.
I took all the posts down.
Got a quote, and am now getting it fixed.
Now I am getting people saying they want to look at it.
I really did not see the point of the abuse.
If it was priced too high, just move on.
I don't get it
You obviously hit a nerve
She took your comment personally and she reacted badly - it’s a reflection of herself and her own issues for sure that she is projecting onto you.
Human behaviour has become awful since social media.
I fucking hate it.
1-5% of the population are said to have NPD / Narcissistic sociopaths. They get narcissistic rage because they don't have empathy, compassion, moral compass and others that do trigger them into being nasty. Ignore. Learn enough about personality disorders.
I just want to put out there that I have an adult relative with Aspergers whom often trolls on particular topics, and is usually very, very offensive and fixated with comments, often instigating lengthy arguments with a provocative comment, or replying to others in an offensive manner.
I often see people arguing online with said relative, and they obviously have no clue about the Aspergers, not that it is an excuse to be an asshole, but I just thought I’d mention it because it’s something that wouldn’t ever occur to the people engaging in responding to it.