Sexual behaviour in young children, a friend have mine has approached me about whats normal she found out her son 7 asked his sister 4 if he could lay on her and then asked her to kiss his doodle. I know this is the age where they start feeling and touching there bits experimenting, i have also googled age appropriate sexual behaviours and seems normal to a point... She has spoken to both kids and got their stories. The boy didnt know why he was doing it apart from it felt nice and he asurred her no one has ever touched him or he hasnt done this before... And she had the conversation with them both about private parts are for no one to touch apart from themself and if anyone touches them they need to tell an adult.. My friend is just really upset and doesnt no wheres she gone wrong. Any advise
8 Replies
Assure her she is not alone and has done exactly the right thing. Have the not “appropriate touching and private parts” talk. Certainly common in that age group. It is upsetting as a parent but it’s very common. Just ensure neither are exposed to inappropriate material or activities and if they have been by accident just explain those things are for mummy’s and daddy’s not children.
A friend recently told me she was going through her phone and found photos of her boys naked (obviously taken by each other) laying on the ironing board. About the same age as your friends son. In between dying with laughter she had a very stern conversation about appropriate behaviour.
When my neighbours and I were this age we used to sniff each other’s butts!
This stuff goes on ALL the time. Of course it needs to be corrected. It’s one reason I don’t like it when kids play in bedrooms together and in play rooms that can’t be seen into by an adult.
He's obviously seen his mother (or another woman) giving his father (or another man) a blow job.
It is not normal for a 7 year old to know a mouth can go near a penis unless he's seen it happen.
I would tell their parents they've done the right thing by having a chat about privates, but maybe to invest in a lock for their door, too.
What a load of shit. It does not mean they have witnessed it at all. My husband was telling as a 7 year old he asked the little girl next door to pour water over his doodle, and about the same age I caught my own sons puting the electric toothbrushes near their butt holes for laughs. None of these had been witnessed elsewhere. It’s just kids experimenting
Different commenter, but all your examples are kiddy things. This was kissing the penis, completely different, an actual sexual act. The lady who ALWAYS brings out the sniffing the neighbours bum, again a kiddy thing, not role playing an actual sexual act. I agree, child has def seen something they shouldn’t have, either internet or real life. I can’t believe the commenters can’t see the difference between kids being kids and kids role playing sexual things.
There's a bloody MASSIVE difference between pouring water over your penis, and realising the vibrations of an electric toothbrush feels nice VS getting another child to kiss your penis.
As a child, at 4ish, my neighbour who was a year or two older, told me to unbutton my dress and said "let me put this in your wee". He tried to stick his penis in my vagina. Of course it didn't work, are you going to say that was just "experimenting" too??
No! He'd obviously seen his parents or someone else having sex, to know a penis goes in a vagina.
Age appropriate behaviour is something like "let me look at your vagina" "let me look at your penis" to see the differences. Not "hey, siltick your mouth on my penis". 😡
Has the kid maybe seen or Hurd the parents or another adult doing it and maybe the boy thought it was normal to do
The age difference is significant and it is a grave concern. The younger child has now had a whole new unwanted awareness thrown at her. She can't unsee or undo this. The older child has experienced being able to manipulate a younger one for sexual favor and may repeat the behaviour on another young child. Never leave the the older child alone with his sister or any other young child. Dont allow sleep overs unless you have all the kids in the lounge and you sleep on the couch as now you know your child's awareness there remains a risk it will be repeated. Ask what gave him the idea to ask his sister to kiss him there as that is not a normal experience and he knew that part at least was not acceptable. As the 4 yr old is also now vulnerable and may copy cat the behaviour to other children you need to be extremely vigilant and not leave her alone with other children either. Alert the kindy/ childcare that there was an incident without saying it was her brother - and ask them.to keep an eye on her for signs of repeating the behaviour. That's how kids communicate stress or uncertainty. Talk to your doctor if you feel comfortable or a child counsellor. Dont just do nothing or wait around for something else to go wrong. Follow through. And yes. Kids bedroom doors stay OPEN. and no playing with others in bedrooms