Hi, I’ll try make this quick.
I’m lost in every way possible. I have 4 children, only 1 of which live with me now due to my relationship with my youngest sons father. He is an alcoholic and I tried to leave nz and move back home with all my children but he used the courts to have our son returned. His drinking is daily. I’ve had police involved but living in a very small community I do not trust the cops. I actually don’t trust anyone here. Christmas is becoming very depressing for me. I am so lost. I know I deserve better and I would be happier on my own but I am really lacking the backbone to actually do it. If I was to leave him, then I would have no one here apart from my 6yr old. I have no support to get through it. His drinking will never change. Even the cops told him that if he continues he will lose his son, so he cut back drinking for a few weeks but this past 10days he has drunk everyday. I don’t know what I am asking really.... I’m just lost, I miss my children and family and friends. I miss my life back home in aussie. Any words of wisdom.
Singed one lonely mummy
5 Replies
Oh my! Could you ring a DV help centre here in Aus for advice? What a horrible situation to be in. I really feel for you. You might need to leave and then get permission to take your son out of NZ. I know someone who was able to leave the country, she did it out of court by agreeing not to claim child support and paying for the childs trip back to aus every year. She then had it amended a few years later, still no child support but she does not have to pay for childs trips now. Definitely ring one of the hotlines for advice on what to do.
Father will not agree to son leaving country. Hotlines have helped remind me I am stuck here until son is old enough to decide. With no support where I live I just don’t see an option but keep living the situation out.
What about for family support?
My family all live back in Australia and give me as much support as they can from there. My family have been amazing, raising my older 3 so they are out of this situation. But there is no more they can do for me while me and my son are in Nz.
I mean could you leave because your support is in Australia? I know people have been able to do it to move interstate. If you're able to get legal advice then maybe this could be an option for you. I think you would be better off leaving him asap, get your own place somewhere. If he is an alcoholic i doubt he would be having regular custody which will only work in your favour in your bid to come home.