At the age of 45, having been a single parent for 5 years. I have found myself acting like a giddy school girl. I have some serious chemistry for one of my son's high school teachers. He is someone I know already, but these intense feelings for him have hit me out of nowhere. I have no idea how to proceed to let him know I'm interested. We always seem to meet up at school functions so not really the place, I feel. This has been driving me to the point of insanity almost....I think about him day and night and what could be if I could get his attention. I have tried very hard to push all this aside but it's just not happening. I have felt like this for about 5 months. How do I get this to move forward? We live in a small town and he is a very private person. It could get awkward too as I still have to deal with him as a school teacher. Any advice welcome as I don't have any female friends to talk to about this. TIA
17 Replies
Not to old at all. But please don’t act on them. He is your sons teacher and it’s inappropriate!
If he is the right guy he will be the right guy when your son finishes school.
I just want to add, a teacher friend of mine lost his job for dating a parent. Be careful!
You obviously don’t know how hard to is to click with someone at that age, it’s not a doctor/patient relationship. The son probably has him for one class a week. Just keep it on the downlow, he may not be your sons teacher next year. Just chat each time you see him and after you are more comfortable, ask him if he wants to go out for coffee.
In singke and I’m 45 ffs
It’s not practical advice, what if her son is in year 7? Is she supposed to wait for six years? Pfffff....
She said her son is 14, so not likely in year 7! Besides that, I’m allowed to have my opinion and state my opinion because that’s what this site is about!
Maybe stop getting so upset about other people’s responses.
A teacher dating thier current student's parent can be considered a conflict of interest, so it's actually a valid point.
Also:
A. It puts him in a really awkward position if the feelings aren't reciprocated.
B. It may jeopardize his job and his reputation.
It's also worth considering how the son would feel about it too, I know I would've been absolutely mortified if my mum started dating one of my high school teachers because the ribbing I'd have received would've been hell!
Actual parents teach their own kids. Having your parent be a teachers boyfriend is much less connected.
When I was in high school 2 of the teachers were married, their children went to the school too. They were never placed in their parents classes (was a big school so that was easily facilitated, I understand that can't always be done). The mother/teacher and her daughter had a massive fight in the corridor once too, was probably the most awkward thing I have ever seen.
What I think everyone is saying here is that proffessional relationships that cross over into personal ones have the potential to be extremely messy and the OP should at least procede very cautiously because this could end badly for everyone involved.
Being married is one thing, dating while working in a school can get you a bad reputation really fast. It really only takes one time, so I think he will draw that line before even considering it.
Teaching your own kid is mostly discouraged and most parent/teachers try to avoid it. Most kids go to a totally separate school to where there parents work for this reason.
Teaching your own child is very different to teaching your love interests child. Teenagers have funny reactions to there parents love interests.
6 of my teacher friends teach at the same school as their kids. My step sister taught her step daughter and son at her school. The school my son is at, his teacher has 5 kids at the school. My step brothers went to school where their dad taught and one of them had them in grade 3 and 5. My daughter's teacher is a good friend of mine. Honestly, an adult relationship with another adult where one has not got undue power over the other (eg health practitioner /patient etc) means nothing. It might be smart to avoid incase something goes wrong, but there is no issue.
My sisters kids go to her school and most of the teachers there do the same.
Especially in a small town!
I disagree to not act upon it due to him being your son’s teacher.
Maybe when you are passing/meeting with him next time you could mention that wouldn’t mind giving him your number if he felt comfortable with that. And if it were to develop or eventuate just keep it very private to begin with until your son is through the school year :)
Well this caught my eye because this is me!! I had it so bad for my childs teacher.
He gave me his number, we chatted, we get on well, but he drew the line and absolutely cant get involved.
I guess it's to protect his job. You really can't tell how dating will go, so they really can't start anything or they are risking a whole lot.
Unfortunately for me, he didn't start out with that information though, so I picked up the good signs then felt a bit wounded. Well really hurt actually. So just a warning to you to be careful and dont read too much into friendly chats and any signs you might see there.
And also Yes!! I also havent crushed like that in so long I have no idea what thats all about.
I work at a school and teachers aren't allowed to date parents. However that may not be the case in all schools.