Going from 1-2

Anonymous

Going from 1-2

Any advice/ tips from going from 1 child to 2.
Recently had our second (6 weeks old) our first is 3.
And I’m finding it difficult to manage at times, from
Trying to keep in top of the house work, playing and spending time with our 3 year old and look after a newborn.
I’m struggling to even make it out of the house.. by the time I get the house recently tidy, kids dressed ect and then the 3 year old will refuse to get in her car seat( her behaviour at the moment is crazy) or bubs needs to have a bottle and I end up just giving up on going out.
I can’t stand a overly messy house which I feel I need to get over as, I constantly trying to tidy and do everything and I’m exhausted.
My 3 year olds behaviour has been shocking of recently which makes it even more of a struggle.

Posted in:  Mental Health, Parenthood Guilt, Baby & Toddler

4 Replies

Anonymous

All that you are going through is so normal at this point in your life.
Can hubby help with housework or with 3 yr old?
I have a 6 yr old and a 6 month old. When baby was a newborn everything was a struggle, I had to manage taking one kid to school.
This is what I did to leave the house on time in the morning:
Get up at 7:15 give one boob to baby (half a feed). Then wake up child, change babies nappy. Put baby in rocker while I shower.
Get child dressed and ready for school.
Then 30m before leaving give baby half a boob (another half feed). This meant that baby had a full tummy right before driving to school so he'd fall asleep on the way.
That could help you if 3 yr old goes to daycare.
Plan outings in the morning as the afternoon I would have a clingy baby.

For housework just do the basics, its not long before your newborn will be more settled and easier to entertain while cleaning.

Use the vacuum (my newbrn would sleep with the vacuum).

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Anonymous

Hubby helps a lot with housework and 3yo thankfully, so does make it a tad easier. Tho it doesn’t help his been away for work the last week and one more week until his home so it’s been a major struggle.

Our 3yo goes to daycare twice a week for 4 hours each time.
I just find it so overwhelming and maybe I’ve got to much of a high expection for myself to have a clean house up to my standard and also being able to get out of the house to go the park ect.
I’m very if there’s something there that needs doing (washing, dishes ect) I need to just get it done so it’s done sorta thing. :(

Thank you x

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Anonymous

I have a 3 and 2 year old and a 12 week old. Honestly it wasn't until about 8 weeks that I actually felt I was succeeding again in motherhood. Housework - I found as long as my kitchen was clean I could handle the untidiness. I also split my jobs up so each day I do one 'big' job (Monday change bed sheets, Tuesday wash floors, Wednesday clean bathroom ect) then a general tidy each night so it's not so much to get done in a day.
I was feeling incredibly guilty that I wasn't spending enough time with the older kids so I made a to do list for them. It has on it play outside, read a book, make something and go for a walk. They love ticking their jobs off and it makes me accountable.
But honestly it sounds like you need to be a lot gentler on yourself. Newborns needs are so demanding and sleep deprivation is brutal. So give yourself permission to leave the dishes until later, or to go out while the house is a mess, or put on a movie when bub is asleep and have a rest while your 3 year old is watching it

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Anonymous

I think the main thing is that you know this is normal.
My kids were similar age gap and I remember when the newborn turned 3 months, shit felt like it hit the fan. And I remember my MCHN telling me that it’s a couple months in when the older one realises tthis is their new life and the newborn ain’t goin’ anywhere. It’s so true.
Also it’s when everything dies down after the birth, Dads back at work, your back into mundane and it’s like... shit this is hectic and harder then I thought.
But you’ll get through.
Keep doing the little things as you can, and let the rest go, it will still be there when you have time

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