Don’t even know what I’m asking for really I guess for other woman’s experiences with something similar good or bad.
so long story short I’m pregnant but had 3 scans so far one at 4weeks second at 6weeks and just recently my 9week scan now at the 9 week scan the baby has shrunk in size and is now only measuring 5weeks +4 and now not viable the downfall I have had no bleeding , no cramping and still feeling very much pregnant with all normal symptoms and nothing to make me think otherwise so a 15min appointment destroyed my world, again I don’t even know what I’m asking for nor do I know what the process is now as currently the non viable baby is still in there which is making it harder and mentally traumatising :( so many things going through my head like could my dates be wrong or maybe they are wrong and yes I know it was only early in in the pregnancy as I’ve been told already but in my heart a loss is a loss no matter how far along you are it was wanted and very much loved already so I’m just feeling lost and not sure how to feel when all I want to do is crawl into a ball and cry and I know it does happen a lot but in your own moment of sorrow you feel completely alone. Just any kindly advice is appreciated.
Miscarriage :(
Miscarriage :(
Posted in:
Loss & Grief, Pregnancy
3 Replies
I am so sorry. Did they see a heartbeat during the 9 week scan? If they did, request that you go back until there is no heartbeat just to ensure this pregnancy is not viable. Is there a chance it is just a small baby? I'm sorry if this is giving you unwanted hope.
If you've known for 5 weeks you're pregnant, it's unlikely your dates are off a whole heap unfortunately.
It's completely normal to go through grieving no matter how far along you are. Surround yourself with supportive people and don't be scared to talk and cry about your feelings.
Sadly no heartbeat :( and I did also point out I have 3 other children who where all small babies but the sonography technician said no to that & that wouldnt be the case , I think what makes it hard to fathom is the fact my body is still telling me I’m pregnant and having all normal symptoms, growing breast, belly growing and even my uterus had grown to the correct measurements of 9 weeks but just not the baby so the hard part is wrapping my head around the fact the baby is not viable but my body is acting like everything is as it should be which is breaking my heart so I don’t know what comes next until I see the dr in a few days as she went away for a few days so the waiting is the worst feeling.
My first pregnancy was a blighted ovum. My cycle was all over the place so I had a dating scan at what we thought was about 6 weeks. After the scan I was told that I was definitely pregnant as they could see the amniotic sac, but they couldn’t see anything else which meant I was less than 5 weeks pregnant. Went back an agonising 2 weeks later by which time morning sickness had kicked in, so I was feeling absolutely crap. Again I was told I was definitely pregnant and the amniotic sac was bigger but there was still nothing else there. Got told to go back to my doctor to find out what to do next. Due to health issues as a child I had been told to see an obstetrician from early in pregnancy, I already an appointment booked for the following month. I was able to get in to see him that morning, he was operating that day so had to wait to be seen between cases. I was given two options. Go home and wait to miscarry naturally, with the possibility of ending up in hospital over Christmas (it was a week before Christmas) for a d and c due to an incomplete miscarriage. Or he could add me to the end of his list and have the d and c that day. I was feeling sick and devastated so opted to have it straight away. My thoughts were I wasn’t going to have a baby from the pregnancy so I wanted it gone. It did take a few weeks for the hormones and everything to settle down again. While I did grieve, I did suppress some of my feelings due to my partners attitude. I went on to get pregnant again about 8 months later, relatively normal pregnancy and birth. I did end up with PND. Through discussions with my psychologist, some of my thoughts and feelings could be traced back to the miscarriage and the suppression of my grief.
My advice is allow yourself to grieve. Curl up in a ball and cry if you need to. Don’t let anyone tell you to get over it. You will move on when you are ready but will always remember this horrible time. I often think of the ‘what ifs’ on the anniversary of that day, but then I remind myself it happened for a reason. If that had been a successful pregnancy I wouldn’t have my elder son. I’m so sorry for your loss.