Mid life crisis?

Anonymous

Mid life crisis?

I think I’m having a mid life crisis... I’m in my 40’s am single and have a teenager. I am having feelings of worthlessness and thinking about not being on this earth anymore. My teenager is pretty well behaved but indifferent towards me and I honestly don’t think she’d notice nor care if I died. No man has any interest in me whatsoever and I am sure I’m getting uglier by the day due to age. My boss ignores me, treating me as if I don’t exist. I love my job and do well financially but there’s no real joy. I have lots of friends but probably only one friend who would really care if I died. The others would be sad but life would go on. I am not suicidal but I do think about suicide as I truly believe I am unlovable - the proof being no one loves me. I have taken anti depressants for a long time and have been doing really well until recently. I’m not sure if there’s any point in talking to someone about it because they can’t make my daughter love me, find me a guy who loves me or make my boss respect me. Do other people feel like this in their 40’s?? If so what did you do about it? Thank you

Posted in:  Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Parenthood Guilt

3 Replies

Anonymous

I think people can feel like this at any age. But to be clear, I remember being that teenager. I would have been devastated... But I was too immature to realise it. Give her time to be less selfish

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Anonymous

I don’t think this is a mid life crisis. I think you are in a low point of your depression. It’s definitely time to speak to your GP and start heading to a psychologist. Your teenager is being a teenager and would actually be devastated if you left this earth. I know they don’t show it, but that’s teenagers for you.
A psychologist can help you reframe your thinking and help you dig you out the hole, you are in emotionally. One of the hardest lessons I’ve learnt in my life is that my self esteem can’t be tied up in attention from others. If my boss doesn’t notice me, I know I have value. If my kid ignores me, I know I matter. If I don’t have a boyfriend, that’s there loss, because I know I matter.
You can get through this, and it’s worth the work.

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Anonymous

Great advice above. I'll just add life isnt just for people to love you. I mean your daughter loves you more than you believe right now. You are not unlovable.
I feel like you want to feel needed to feel loved.
You have recognised a hole to fill thats all. Its a time to change direction and meet your own needs.
Your life is for you to enjoy too, start enjoying it, do things that make your soul happy, find a new project or career where people need you and notice you and appreciate you daily.
And speak to a psych to work through those thoughts, theyre great at helping you turning negative thoughts around and helping with life changes too.

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