We have lived in the same house happily for 7 years, that was until around 18 months ago. We have two boys aged 8 and 6. Our boys became friendly with one of our neighbours sons. He is the same age as my eldest and is in his class at school. I also work with his mother and this is where things get messy.
This kid is a little shit. He annoys me so much, just to see him. He is here everyday (almost), he plays my kids against eachother and makes them choose 'sides.' I have heard him ask my children for food or a turn on the wii and threaten to go home if he dosent get his own way. He is rough, a bully and a bad influence on my boys.
He rocks up whenever he feels like it and stays until the street lights are on, that's his curfew and he's only 8 years old. The other day I heard him knock and didn't want to open the door, so I turned the radio up so my kids didn't hear the knock on the door.
I'm a friendly person, so have never shown how I feel. His mum considers me a friend, I think. She messages me often. I also have to work quite close with her and she is in a higher position than me. Its getting harder and harder to hide how I'm feeling. I just don't know what to do.
I don't want to make things awkward as we both own our own homes and may be neighbours for years. We also have to have an amicable work relationship. She thinks its great our kids get to grow up together, but I can't do another 10 Years +. I don't want him around my kids, but I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
We are not moving as it was hard enough getting a motgage for this place. What do I do?
7 Replies
You start sending the kid home. It's ok to say, not today the kids have to do x, y, z today. Make up any reason. They need a rest, they have a cold, haven't done there chores or its family time.
Put a limit on how many days a week he can come over. And how long for, it's not about this child's curfew it's over when you say it is over.
Take control back.
Ive had this happen twice. Although it seems like they wont go away, just say no, not today and it only takes about a week or two and everybody gets over it and into a new routine.
Totally agree. I have only had this happen once, but this kid was 5 years older than mine and maaaaan he was a shit.
He would walk up to our gate and I would say "Nope. Not today Brandon. The kids have been naughty" or "Not today Brandon. I dont feel like having kids over"
After the 3rd or 4th no in a row, he stopped coming!
Omg I think we share a Neighbour lol. I'm not the OP but I have a kid next door Brandon who is forever trying to come over. I've come home and found hed jumped the fence and was playing in my yard with dog waiting for us to get home....
I put a stop to it pretty quickly, everytime he came over Id say no my sons been naughty / he's sick / he's busy doing something etc
Took about 2 wks of twice daily knocks on door and he got the hint.
I didn't mind at first until it got to point he'd come over at 8am and stay until bedtime and help himself to food etc.... Don't know his parents at all so felt sorry for him at first cause he mustn't be getting attention there and they never cared enough to check if he was ok here etc. He's only 6 but yeah enoughs enough
I can relate!! The terror next door is only 4 though. I have started coming down hard after a year of being nice. I say no regularly when he knocks, when he plays he gets one warning. If he misbehaves he goes home.
Working with his mother makes it tricky though.
I always send neighbours home when it's our dinner time too
You just say "ok Fred, its time to go home now." In a friendly stern voice. Thats all you have to do. Or when he comes to the door just say "sorry Fred but we are busy today, get mum to give me a call and we'll arrange another play day".
Surely his mum isn't stupid and will realise that you don't want him over all day every day. If she is your friend she will understand and tell "Fred" he better bot go over when ever he likes anymore.