When I first became a Mother it was such a shock to me. I seriously had no idea that I would find it so overwhelming. After losing our first beautiful angel Titan prematurely; and struggling to hold on to Maya and Tex. My introduction to Motherhood was quite an interesting one.
When I finally became a Mum I remember one day sitting in my lounge room floor holding Maya; she was absolutely perfect. Unfortunately though all I could feel was such a deep dark feeling of anxiousness.
I was completely and utterly overwhelmed. I could hear this voice in my head telling me how hopeless I was. This baby deserved so much more, it was like the walls were caving in…. – It was a very scary time – I will NEVER forget that moment.
I also found myself comparing myself to other mothers thinking she has it “so together” I know have come to realise that “she” probably goes home and cries in silence because she doesn’t fell quite adequate herself either.
There are some Mum’s and Dad’s that don’t struggle and I’m genuinely very happy for them, but unfortunately that was not me and I was not going to pretend it was. I remember saying to my sister that I would love to start up some sort of advice line so there could be a place that other Mothers that were struggling could call.
Juggling Motherhood and working didn’t allow something like this to happen but there was always this nagging voice in my mind telling me I had to do “something”. It wasn’t until last year that I finally worked out what that “something” was… I have always felt like I was an “Imperfect Mum” so it was the perfect name for my blog and facebook page.
It fitted me “perfectly”. So June 2011 the Imperfect Mum was born.
So here we are all together, There is no reason any of us should ever feel alone again. And please; just promise me one thing, don’t bloody compare. And if you are truly in a bad place, ask for help.
Depression, anxiety, and the feeling of being completely overwhelmed truly suck. I have been there I sometimes still are. That is a fact. My life is far from perfect. But you know what that’s ok.. No-one’s is…
Lifeline 131114 or http://www.lifeline.org.au