This is a FAQ post. These are the most popular answers to a real question asked on The Imperfect Mum.
The funny things that kids say! Here are our top ten answers! Enjoy!
Sarah: Whilst in a petrol station one morning a group of Muslim women walked in in full cover ( sorry not sure of correct terms! ) in black. My gorgeous six year old at the time yelled out excitedly “Mummy look – ninjas!!!!”
Mummy: My eldest saw my hubby tap me on the butt and say you’re hot when you’re angry.. Next time he went to kindy, the kindy teacher told me she’d had to have words with him about something and as she went to walk away he yes you guessed it.. smacked her on the butt and said “you’re hot when you’re angry”. She told me she didn’t know what to say! I.was.mortified!!!!
Karen: The one that comes to mind most is when my daughter was 5 and came home from school to tell me they were sharing their family stories at school and she stood up in front of her class and told them “My mum is very lucky because she married her cousin who is my Daddy!” I was so shocked!! When I asked her why she said that she looked at my confused and said “Because Daddy is your cousin!” I said “No Daddy is my husband!” “Ohhh, oh well Mummy that sounds the same”. Lol, no, not really!
Bec: A couple of months ago I was cleaning out the shed and fell on a computer table which promptly broke on me and I ended up getting a bad scratch from one of the screws. My son thought it was a brilliant Idea to blurt out the next day at school in front of his teacher and four of the parents “my mummy got screwed last night”. Needless to say I was extremely embarrassed and had to explain what had happened! Everyone seemed to get a good laugh out of it!
Andrea: I was browsing in a hardware store when my daughter was also wondering around decided she needed to go to the toilet. Instead of asking me where they were, she proceeded to lift up the lid of a display toilet and do a number 2, then yelled out loudly for toilet paper!
Athena: Last year, age 5, my son shouted LOUDLY across the shopping centre, “My mum is having twins. Her vagina is sore. Please move.” I waddled away quicky!
Jen: Calling people fat when shopping. Asking me if the person at checkout in front of us has a “noodle” or “front bum” because “I cant tell”. and the most recent and humiliating would be screaming loudly when buying nappies the other day “I wish you just left me at home locked in a cupboard” (idle threat I use sometimes)
Cheree: When I was toilet training my daughter and had her in the cubicle with me at a shopping centre she did the whole clap & cheer when I went, followed by (in 3 yr old volume) “OK MUMMY LEAN FORWARD AND I’LL WIPE YOUR BUM, YOU’RE A GOOD GIRL!” There was some sniggering from other stalls.
Then when I had my twins and they were about 12 months old, I was carrying one on each hip and a nappy bag into Coles (so no free hands). I stopped at the service desk to ask someone to unlock me a twin trolley when one of my twins decided to dig one of my breasts out of my bra & shirt. My frantic cries of “no no no NO NO NOOOOO!!!” atracted quite a bit of attention and needless to say half of Coles have seen my breast. On the upside the guy behind the counter moved remarkably fast and by the time I had slid one baby to the floor and tucked myself back in the trolley was there waiting for me but the poor guy couldn’t look me in the eye. LOL KIDS.
Liz: My 6.5yr old son (then 5) and I were at the supermarket waiting at the checkout, when a vision impaired lady walked past with her seeing eye dog. At the top of his lungs when there was a lull in the music and noise he yells “MUM, THAT WOMAN IS BLIND ISN’T SHE? DOES THAT MEAN HER EYE BALLS FELL OUT OF HER HEAD” I wished the ground swallowed me whole! There was a woman behind me who laughed her head off, others gave me a disgusted look!
Tahnee: I was in a packed toilet with my 4yr old daughter in the cubicle with me when she frantically screamed ‘mummy your bleeding!!’ I said ‘shhh it’s ok darling’ but she kept yelling ‘no it’s not – your giney is bleeding you need to go to the doctor!!!’ I could hear the women in there trying to stifle their laughter