My partner has now been employed in the same job for almost 3 years as a casual. It's clear his boss has no real intention of making him full time, only talk. We have 6 kids between us, 4 that are with us full time. As he is only casual, every holiday ect really hits us hard & we hang on by the skin of our fingers. I have discussed with him looking for & applying for something full time but he will not budge. He says there are no jobs going yet he doesn't even bother looking so how he "knows" this is beyond me. I feel like he doesn't listen to my reasoning or even try to understand where I'm coming from, he just says at least I have a job. Which is true, I'm grateful however I don't live in dream land, I know we need something a bit more permanent & stable. I feel like, if I don't go looking for a full time job, we'll be like this forever & it's NOT where I want to be. Neither do I think it is fair that I'm expected to be the one gaining full time employment & still take care of the day to day running of home & kids. I just can't do everything myself. How in earth am I supposed to get him to listen & at least apply for a new job? I'm considering posting off resumes on his behalf! Thanks.
4 Replies
Hmmm could he be lacking the confidence to move forward perhaps?
My job was recently made redundant and the decision was forced upon me to jump back on the horse so to say even though I find interviews etc incredibly uncomfortable (cause anxiety).
So maybe he feels this way too? My shrink says that changing jobs is right up in the top 5 most stressful things in life....
Maybe if you got a part time role it could ease the burden a bit?
Can you both work part time and share house hold duties? Maybe he likes being a casual? Not everyone has the drive or desire to get ahead and are happy plodding along. If you don't want to work full time why should he feel any different just because he is a man?
My hubby was in this situation when I 1st moved up ( I moved from another state and sold my shop, for us to be together)
I applied for jobs for him, he ended up with a really good job. They rang him and he was angry that I did it, but took it and it was the best thing he did. Recently this job got a new manager and was sliding, so I applied again for him, other wise he would just cop what they through at him.
If my partner applied for a job for me I would be furious, and I would never do it to him either. I think you both have different ideas on where "you want to be" and need to work out a compromise and then start making, and acting on the plans to make it happen.