Hi, I met my Stepson a couple of years ago and automatically knew there was something different about him. After getting to know him and much research I learnt about Autism and saw all the red flags link up with this little guy. He's now almost 5 and has just been officially diagnosed as an asd kiddo. His Mother though is keeping all the information from us. She won't tell us about his appointments or therapy, we are being completely left out of the loop. Then today when my Husband went to pick up his Son, the Mother said to my Husband the specialist says that his autism has come from his genes. And that he had better keep a good eye on our kids cause they might be autistic too. He is absolutely furious and feels like she has put all the blame on him and is really angry that she's so uneducated on the topic I guess. What would your reaction be? I'm sorta shocked that she blamed him like that and find her so called facts from this specialist some how not ringing quite true or correct. Their court agreements clearly states they have equal say in schooling/health etc decisions for their Son but she is keeping all the information from him. So what do you think about the so-called advice about autism only coming from the Fathers genes? And about being left in the dark regarding his Sons health and medical appointments and needs? Thanks for all your thoughts
7 Replies
Genetics does play a role in autism so her advice is accurate! There is a lot of pretty crappy incorrect info available on the internet on autism. I'm mum to an adult son on the spectrum and keep up with the research that comes from proper medical journals. Don't take it personally it's genetics we have no control over them, it could be your husbands genes, it could be the mothers genes it could be a combo of both. Your husband should be involved in therapy etc as you need to be following through on your time with your step son.
I would trust the paediatrician.
Genetics deffiantly has a lot to do with these things but I think it's extremely unfair for the mother to put the blame solely on the father. My daughter suffers from a speech disorder and it is genetic but because we have learning difficulties on both sides of the family not sure who's genetics causes it. But realistically either way it doesn't matter it happened and now we just work on how to help her as much as possible. Perhaps get ur husband to just keep pushing the fact he wants to help and wants to be involved as much as possible if she continues to push him out then I would expect he would have grounds for mediation and court to sort things out. Very unfair of the mother to do this especially when dad wants to be apart of the boys life.
There is a genetic link in autism. I highly doubt that the specialist had said that it comes from the father's genes (unless they are an extremely unprofessional one). I'd say the specialist has mentioned the genetic links and this mother has decided to use it as another way to dig at her ex. It does not sound like an amicable relationship in the slightest.
If your hubby can, he needs to take this back to court/mediation to extract the medical/therapy details and perhaps put in place an order that he receives copies of any correspondence/reports that she gets.
I have a child with autism genes do play a factor in it but it comes from both parents not just one as i have a cousin and my ex having a nephew with autism.
The mother needs to keep ur husband informed about all of his appointments so he can also ask questions to all of his therapist if not it might be worth taking It back to court cause she is breaking the order already by not keeping ur husband in the loop about his sons therapy appointments good luck
Genetics does play a role in ASD! I know this due to the fact that 2 out of three of my sons are ASD kids and I know that it comes from me (their mummy).It isn't only the father that can pass it on! It's not a death sentence either! I have been to uni and I have a lot of friends that don't even know I have ASD. My two sons that have ASD function almost normally it's the social aspect for us! Get in touch with the doctors that are caring for him as everyone needs to be on the same page so that emotional and physical development is not hindered!
Can you not take court documents to the specialist / doctor and ask for his records?
If you can find out where the appointments are maybe dad can attend every appointment. Request administration to include him in every appointment letter. You can call the Centre and ask to confirm your details in your sons info and if it isn't there then give it to them. Is school/appointments are equal say then this shouldn't be a problem