Has anyone been theough domestic abuse at the hands of their teen child? We have been been going through this for several years. I dont need suggestions to change our parenting, im hoping to get some insight in outcomes etc from other victims of domestic abuse. Tonight the time came, yet again to call police following an explosive episode of tyrant style verbal abuse followed by physical abuse to both myself and husband. Witnessed yet again by our younger 2 children, our youngest during the ordeal left helpless, frightened and in tears. Our teen punches, shoves and chest pumps my husband. He is also not in 'shaping up to me' in a bid to intimidate me and scare me off. This is completly devestating for all concerned. Tonight we had him removed by police and pressed charges. We are now so terribly worried about the repercussions. Previous police attendance has resulted in our two younger children being listed at risk due to his behaviour.
Will being arrested tonight be enough to frighten him out of his bad ways? Or will this send him in the other direction? Never did we think it would vomr to this.
domestic abuse, from our teen. Anyone gave advice?
domestic abuse, from our teen. Anyone gave advice?
Posted in:
Behaviour
16 Replies
Has he been to a doctor? Mental health referral? This won't stop it unfortunately, but it might get this young man some serious help. My teenager has done this a few times, he has severe anxiety and it eventuated in massive meltdowns. He is on anti anxiety meds now and doing brilliantly.
Have you seen a doctor for mental health issues or behavioural issues? Where has this stemmed from and why does he behave like this? Is he drug using and have you had him tested? So many questions, we need more info about how this situation came about.
My son attacked me. We had a full medical/psychological/psychiatric work up done. Yes he had a neurological disorder, we also put a systematic behaviour plan in place set by a psychologist. Over about 12 months with appropriate treatments and strictly following the plan and things settled down to the point of no incidents for a number of years now.
The earlier you seek professional help the better.
Yes there needs to be consequences for his actions in this circumstance but there also needs a plan in place when he comes home to help him be successful. It’s not normal for a person to explode that much and you need to find out why that’s happening.
Well said, you need a plan from a professional.
Honestly I think you need a behavioural paediatrician. Get to the root of the issue.
How old is he exactly?
This sounds terrible, I couldn’t even imagine. I feel for you all.
Bugger the repercussions. Let the little prick learn his lesson. You do NOT get to intimidate and harm your family. Nip it in the bud now before he ends up a wife beater.
This will virtually guarantee a life of crime if the issue is adhd or something else that can be treated if a kid has support and isn't effectively told they're a lost cause.
I disagree. My hubby has ADHD quite severely and was quite corrupt as a child, there wasn’t much intervention or punishment as a child but he’s turned out great (on his own terms he seemed help though).
I'm adhd and earning a 6 figure salary in a professional role. He and I are the exceptions. Sooooo much research and statistical data shows that...
You don’t say the cause of his problems? Have you taken him to a psychiatrist/psychologist? Head space? Undiagnosed ADHD? Onset of bipolar? Is he self medicating with drugs? It’s all good and well to call the cops but have you sought treatment for him? Maybe he was sexually abused? Is your husband his father or does he have an absent father? If so, does he feel he belongs in the family? Has he witnessed dv in his young years? Give us more to go on and we can give better advice. There’s usually a reason behind behaviour that severe. If you get him the right treatment now, he will thank you as an adult.
The fact you say you don’t want parenting advice, quite frankly gives the impression you have closed the door on getting him help.
Sorry to say but there are huge numbers of journal articles and longitudinal studies indicating that this is much more likely to cement a thought pattern that he is worthless and send him down a path of drug and alcohol abuse and criminal acts if he isn't in control of his behaviour... And you are very much describing a child that has lost his ability to control his emotions and behaviour in that moment. You need to let him know that you love him. Get a mental health care plan to access CBT. With a clinical psychologist. Get him reviewed by a child and youth psychiatrist because this could align with onset of some psychotic disorders but may also be undiagnosed or untreated adhd (which FYI accounts for the majority of drug addicts, abusers and about 1/3 of the prison population.... But treated adhd doesn't reflect that which is why when I do health assessments for prison release they're often in the process of getting a diagnosis because reoffending stats once medicated drops dramatically). Unfortunately, if you push punishment of the action rather than seek answers for the cause of the action some kids don't recover even once they get treatment because their self esteem is so low they don't see the point. Better to not try than try and fail so to speak. Act now in reinforcing you will help and drop the charges. You need to be giving a strong message you're in his corner while you wait for appointments. With a diagnosis and treatment, you should have a different kid. FYI, simple anxiety combined with teenage hormones can manifest this way too.
So well said, you don’t want you kids in the system, it’s only down hill from there. He needs psychiatric help like yesterday. Although we don’t know what treatment has been sort, maybe mum and dad have already put him into treatment. Would really like to hear from the op what they have tried, would help us understand better. I also feel being arrested won’t cure whatever is going on with him, you can’t really fear a mental condition out of someone and I would rather as a parent, provide the treatment required outside of the system.
My son was like this! He assalted me ( mother) and threatened his siblings. We had him arrested time and time again. Eventually we put him in the care of the minister as he was deemed to be dangerous to his siblings. He now lives in a care facility. I hope you get the help you need
I was a violent teenager. I was sexually abused for years and the trauma and depression manifested as episodes of rage and aggression.
He needs help. Press charges and ask for a good behaviour bond with conditions. Condition one medical and psychiatric evaluation. Condition two medication and/or therapy. You all will need counselling together. Do not give up on him. Do not abandon him. I was homeless from 13 and lived a horrific life where I was repeatedly abused by adults.
Now I am the sole earner for my family and win awards in my workplace and community. One person believing in him will change his future.
I was a violent teenager. I was sexually abused for years and the trauma and depression manifested as episodes of rage and aggression.
He needs help. Press charges and ask for a good behaviour bond with conditions. Condition one medical and psychiatric evaluation. Condition two medication and/or therapy. You all will need counselling together. Do not give up on him. Do not abandon him. I was homeless from 13 and lived a horrific life where I was repeatedly abused by adults.
Now I am the sole earner for my family and win awards in my workplace and community. One person believing in him will change his future.