How to end a chapter in life.

Anonymous

How to end a chapter in life.

I've been living where I am for almost 3 years. I moved with my daughter as a baby all by my self.
I lived with my dad for while. And now I live by my self. He got married and moved away. Being a full time single mum is the HARDEST thing I have ever done. My daughter has never meet her dad. I did meet a guy here but he wasn't any help he would dump his 2 kids on me every weekend to work. I pretty much become a full time mum to 3. Never did any house jobs. He was a kid him self. And in the mean time his cheating on me with his ex. And he wasn't nice to me at all. Always had something mean to say about me.
I broke it off about 3 months ago.
I'm moving home now I miss my mum my grandma my sisters my friends I just miss my home way to much.
It's been a quick decision as I've only come to realize I signed a 6 month bond back in May not a year and I don't want to renew it as I can't afford the rent any more I've gone into debt.
I thought I had another 6 months to say goodbye.
I've made some beautiful friends down here.
I'm leaving in 6 weeks now.
I don't know how to say good bye. How to close the chapter. My counselor suggested writing a card to every one and telling them what parts I cherish about them, and shutting it will be like shutting the chapter. Does any one else have any ideas??
My ex contacted me last night after he found out I'm leaving the state. He wants to meet up to see how I'm going to clarify things. I feel I need this closer too. But then I just think what's the point. He cheated. And I really don't want my daughter to see him or his kids again as awful as that sounds but she is just starting to forget about them. She's stop mentioning them and asking for them. And to see them again I feel like it's cruel as it's only going to be for an hour or so and then to say goodbye yet again and to go through all those emotions again. What do you think I should do?. The messages last night wearnt the nicest either. His on tinder and said he did it cause I kissed a guy when I went out a few weeks ago said i probably fucked him etc and that's why he got tinder. And how immature i am for not wanting to see him. That my true colours are showing. And so much more. So there is still so much anger there so much rage. I really can't stand what he did to me either. It's not okay for me to kiss someone 3 months after we split but it's okay to cheat. He was always the controlling type and if nothing went his way he would lose it have a tantrum and give me the silent treatment after harsh words. So I'm at a loss in what to do. As we went just seeing each other it was a full on family relationship. Extended family and all..
I'm feeling like I need closure from every one. To end the chapter of this life we have created. Any suggestions on how to do so would be amazing. Cause I'm feeling so lost right now. Torn between this life I have and the life i have back at my home town. I'm going to miss this suburb I live in and the suburbs I usually visit. I'm going to miss my daughter day care right. How do I say thank you to them. They have done amazing things for my little one who's got a few issues of her own. She never stops talking about her teacher all day every day. I'm going to miss everything right down to my local wollies.

Posted in:  Mental Health, Self Care, Loss & Grief, Sisterhood Stories, Kelly (IM2), Health & Wellbeing

4 Replies

Anonymous

Don’t see the ex. It sounds like it will do more harm than good. Just block him from all contact and move on, you owe him nothing and nothing good will come from seeing him. He’s just trying to control you and no good will come from maintaining phone/message contact with him.
How you go about saying goodbye to your friends is up to you. But you are not saying good bye forever to them. You can keep in contact, and holidays etc do happen. We used to plan a holiday once a year and throw a bbq so we could catch up with everyone. So don’t over think your goodbyes. It could be as simple as a change of address card or a text saying how much you will miss them.

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Anonymous

I really like the idea of writing letters to your friends explaining how much you cherish them, maybe give them an email address or a way to keep in contact with you. Even penpals?! I really don't think you owe it to your ex to see him not does he deserve clarification or anything, and it isn't fair on your daughter.

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Anonymous

Please don’t see your ex - he’s your ex and he’s nasty, why would you?

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Anonymous

Agree with the others, don't see him. It will just cause more confusion and you have already made your decision to go, don't let anything get in the way. I like the counselors idea. Maybe the daycare teachers would love a bottle of wine and a card?

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