Hi sisters, My husband and I had an argument about 2 weeks ago and he left for a week, while he was gone he changed all his bank account details and now his pay goes into his own account.
He has transferred half of rent and other bills to our joint account but now I feel like more housemates then a marriaged couple..not sure what I'm asking just need some advice on how to get our marriage back on track and stop feeling so disconnected and resentment towards him. Will this work or not? Feeling lost!
***Argument was over insurance, dates that they came out changed and they went up till they were due to be renewed and hubby couldn't understand even after my explanation ( Stupid I know).
Feeling disconnected
Feeling disconnected
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage, Money
5 Replies
I'd say that you are disconnected right now... But he came back so it might not stay that way. Whether it will work? That depends. What could you fight about that was so big he didn't return for a week and needed to protect himself financially? Can you move past it? Or was the bank account issue an act of financially controlling you? If so, is that typical? I feel like this isn't a good place for a relationship but where it goes from here depends on what has happened so far and how much both of you are willing to listen to the other person in order to move forward.
Sounds like he’s checked out and this is another step towards having his own independence. I’d be telling him he either leaves you or he works on this but separating finances when married is a massive statement to me. I’d be having a frank and direct talk to him. Some men would rather “check out” than be the bad guy (who left his family). I hope this isn’t true for your sake :-(
Time to start looking closely to who is checking in with !! That is a big statement and he is pulling some real tactile moves beware and get on top of it ! If you need to visit centerline it sounds like he is making plans who actually changes their bank account after an argument maybe he is not what he says he is good luck mumma
He’s on his way out. Sorry. Get your shit in order
My partner and I had alot of arguments over money. We both felt like he was working his ass off but never any extra money to splash around and we resented each other for this without changing our spending habits. I always felt guilted into finding money so he never went without. It wasnt healthy and was a massive strain on our finances. What has worked for us is signing up with mybudget. It does cost money but its great having someone else make us accountable to what we spend. We arent in any debt but just need someone to say yes you can or no you cant afford this right now and also someone to pay our bills as they fall due.