So got my engagement party in a few weeks
Have a $400 bar tab of beer wine and soft drink
And 5 platters that feed 15 people each
And 45 people coming
I put on the invites light finger food to be served and meals could be purchased from the bar (bar has quite cheap meals most expensive being $20)
My mum thinks I don’t have enough food, and wants me to order more. I don’t have any more in the budget and I think it’s plenty. I’m so stressed and have no idea what to do
Edit yes I’m fully aware this is a small bar tab. Included in the 45 people are 12 kids and a number of people who don’t drink. And also the beer is only $5 each and wine is $4 a glass.
20 Replies
Dont stress. It sounds fine. Its easy enough for hungry people or yourself to order a few serves of hot chips if enough people want them.
It sounds fine.. especially because you’ve stayed light finger food, people wouldn’t/shouldn’t be expecting to fill right up so either buy dinner before or there. I did very similar for my engagement party too.
I also had a tab but made beer and wine $2 for everyone and the tab paid to rest.
If that's the budget you have then that's all you can do. If it was my event I would probably provide more on the food side and drinks side HOWEVER I am a big piggie so love my food and drinks and therefore just automatically want to provide as much as I can. Also we haven't be subject to a strict budget.
If I went to an engagement which provided this I wouldn't be annoyed at all but would def need more food which we would then buy. Have you mentioned anything about a wishing well or gifts?
Yes we are having a wishing well if people want to participate as we already live together and don’t need any household items. We’d be happy with just a card from each guest :)
Heaps of food, people will only expect finger food
If I read light finger food provided I’d probably just eat before I go - no dramas 😊
Sounds perfect. If your mum isn't offering to pay for the additional platter and she isn't dropping it just tell her you added another. She'll be too busy talking to people she won't notice because platters aren't usually brought out at the same time.
All the engagement parties I've been to (granted I haven't been to many) have only had tables of help yourself finger foods. I wouldn't expect to have a big sit down meal at an engagement party, that's what the wedding's for! Engagement parties are more relaxed and more about drinking and socializing really!
Chuck in a few bowls of chips if she's so worried
At our engagement we only had sausage rolls and party pies. We decided not to provide any food as we had a self-catering venue and wanted everyone to just enjoy themselves and not have to worry about cooking and serving food. So we thought stuff it. BUT we did have a $3000 bar tab which all got used (100 people).
I think if you have a wishing well but people end up having to buy food or drinks then they'd be less inclined to give a monetary gift. Me personally, if I have to pay for beverages or food myself at a venue then I don't give a money gift (but I gift something smaller like a candle, personalised wooden board etc.). My gift to them is my presence and paying for myself :)
If she isn't contributing financially then I don't think she really gets a say.
$400 tab with 45 people is that including yourself and hubby? You realise that's less than $9 a person for drinks for a night?
I do think you have enough food! You've told them all that it's light finger food and the place sells food. Tell your mum that if she wants to help with anything she could chuck some money onto the tab for you. But that there's enough food and you're sure of it.
Yeah, my dad had a $1500 tab at his wedding for 50 people, he still went $500 over the tab.
So that 45 people include children and people who don’t drink
I’m not paying for people to get drunk and the drinks are quite reasonable
$5 for a beer and $4 for a wine
The bar tab is being paid for by my parents and we are paying for the food.
I just wouldn't expect many gifts or be disappointed for getting nothing from peope, if they come along and end up having to pay for their own drinks or food. It's a very very small tab and those drinks are just the norm prices.
If you are negotiable on choices, maybe put $450 towards drinks, so you contribute $2 to every beer or champagne and that'll bring the cost down to $3 and $2.
I just know at events I alone usually would use up about $50-100 of the tab within two hours plus my husband too.
It can be very deflating when it runs out and people start mentioning it or complaining.
I don’t think people will be complaining about the bar tab.
A lot of parties I’ve gone to don’t even have a tab.
To be honest if you go to an engagement party it’s just plain rude not to take a gift
Clearly the op has stated above she doesn’t mind if people don’t bring a gift but a card would be nice
If you complained about a low bar tab at a party of mine I’d ask you to either add some money to the tab or leave :)
It's $8.88 per person not even enough for 2 beers per person, sure there are going to be some that aren't drinking alcohol but everyone is going to be drinking something. Soft drink bottles of water etc
I'm not saying I would complain to the hostess but if I was one person and I got cut off at my second drink because there was no tab left I would hand over my money and have my last drink and be out of there especially if I didn't know that I'd need extra money when the invite suggests that there is a tab for drinks which suggests I should be able to get more than one. Make sure your guests know that they may need extra money for when the tab runs out and make sure you take extra money for you and your OH for when your party tab runs out so your night isn't ruined when the drinks run out. Having a party and drinking water because you have no dosh for drinks will be depressing. My sister had a $3000 tab for her wedding I put money onto the tab the grooms family added money to the tab and there was about 60 people there 10 of them kids. Most of us weren't drunk at the end of the night.
Good Luck and I hope your party goes off without a hitch.
I’m sorry but if You expect a bar tab at whatever party your at and get shitty when it finished you’re a very rude person.
Judging by what op said is on the invite it doesn’t suggest there’s a bar tab to the guests so they would bring money
And who the hell doesn’t take money to a party at a pub?
Ok so it depends on a few things. The first is what time of day are you having it? If it’s at dinner or lunchtime you need to feed people adequately regardless of what you put on the invite. That’s around 8-10 pieces per person and a variety of hot and cold. Definitely a separate plate of nuggets and chips and party pies for the kids, that sort of thing. I would focus more on food than the bar tab.
Perhaps just buy a few bottles of champagne and make sure everyone has enough for a glass or two to toast and leave it at that?
Also what are your expectations in terms of presents or wishing well? People will normally give what’s appropriate to your spend per person.
Only 2 of the kids eat solid food other ones are under 6 months
And it’s been stated as a cocktail party on the invitation
It is after dinner time
It's an engagement party, not a wedding/reception. Finger food and the option of buying dinner would be fine IMO.
I wouldn't have bothered with the bar tab and if anything would have used that to add more nibblies instead to be honest.