Family and not listening

Anonymous

Family and not listening

So I’m the one with the immune problem and was asking about my brother in laws kids

So after their visit the other week I caught a lovely infection off the kids caused by them having chest infections. Now while they could be treated at home I required a week long hospital stay with oxygen and antibiotics.

To all the people who say move out, I lost my job because of my illness and I’m struggling to find another hence why we moved in with my partners family. I don’t say the kids can’t come over just that coming over when the kids are clearly sick is not fair.

I’ve approached my SIL again and told her that she could kill me by doing this and her reaction was that I’m the one causing her kids to get colds and chicken pox and things.

Thank you to the people who actually understood me. It made me feel better. Hopefully once I recover from this infection I’ll be able to avoid the kids more when they are sick

Posted in:  Behaviour

10 Replies

Anonymous

You know single mums only have one wage?

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Anonymous

I hate people like you who play the single Mum card
Many people
Have a single wage but clearly op and her partner are struggling

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Anonymous

In fairness, everyone is sick at the moment. I've been barely able to leave my bed for 2 weeks before yesterday. You could have got it anywhere. Take precautions but don't fight a losing battle. If your nieces come over I'll, go for a drive or stay out of the way if they aren't coming daily.

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Anonymous

I get it. They are selfish, clearly not that educated on illnesses, and are clearly not thinking about the very real and serious implications any exposure to illness has on your health.

However, this is not your house and the cost of living with your in laws is that you don't get to dictate who can visit. It's not fair, but it's the reality. The only thing you can control here is you. If the current living arrangements aren't working for you (in that you don't have final say of who can visit) then you need to move.

Not so much in defence of your SIL (cause she sounds like a real treat 🙄), but if I were in her shoes, and my brother in law and his girlfriend moved into my MILs house and then tried to tell me that I couldn't bring my kids over to visit their grandparents? I'd be pissed. My kids alternate or both seem to have some kind of cold for most of winter, if I was waiting till my kids were 100% healthy then I'd never be taking them anywhere!

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Anonymous

Sorry that you’re not feeling well and have lost your job.

But, you’re living with someone else and therefore living under their rules. If everyone waited around to feel 100% I doubt you’d see many people. It isn’t fair on the grandkids or grandparents to ask them to stay away because of you. Maybe you could look at finding a granny flat or bungalow to rent for a cheaper cost? Or live off of your partners wage and rent? It’s definitely doable as we’ve seen on the many posts on this page.

I can understand your SIL’s response, if you have an immunity problem then you’re more susceptible to contracting illnesses - so for all you know you could be carrying something and passing it along. She’s probably feeling how you are feeling about her, but towards you.

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Anonymous

I get where you are coming from. My son is you and my cousin has cystic fibrosis.
However I can’t stop people visiting my in laws or my parents house!
Time to rent a one bedroom unit.

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Anonymous

Clearly it's time to look at living off of one wage. Paid $300 rent per week and was only living off of one wage of less than 40k a year before tax was taken with 2 kids. Completely do able in this day and age. A one bdrm apartment is your best bet. You won't get unwanted visitors then.

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Anonymous

I hope you are feeling better!
While i understand where everyone is coming from with the whole its not your house stuff I still don't get the whole oh our kids are sick lets take them to visit.
To me that is 100% not on!
I wont take my kids to my parents when they are sick unless I'm 100% desperate ( eg they are sick and I have to work) even then if they are going away I wont leave them with them. My parents tend to fall ill easily. Its called just being a nice person.
I wont send my kids out sick, take them shopping sick its how germs get spread.
Good luck OP. I hope you get into a postion to move out. If not invest in netflix and order in some good quality face masks these look ott but they may get the idea through plus always have hand sanitiser. Make it a game with the kids our google a song for them about getting rid of germs

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Anonymous

Obviously your kids are healthier than most. If I didn't do that stuff when they were sick they wouldn't have a relationship with anyone at all.

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Paula Ali

I don’t have any answers or advice but I just want to say that I really do understand. I have a severe autoimmune disease and not only get sick harder and longer and am on immune suppressants, I get anaphylactoid every couple of days until the infection is gone.
I also get anaphylactoid and anaphylaxis to any fragrance, temperatures, most foods, environmental allergens, physical stress, most medications and the list goes on. I too can’t work with my illness but luckily live in my own place. I find it near impossible to find anyone who really understands or respects my health needs.
It is very isolating, lonely, frustrating and makes me feel like I’m a problem. I’m learning to accept that it’s not my fault and I don’t need to justify myself and not to listen to all the criticism. I’ve even let go of raising awareness, as I find people just don’t care unless it happens to them. I hope you can get by moment by moment and find some small joys in the limited life you have.

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