Hi Everyone,
I think I want to leave my partner but we have a 1 year old and that’s really holding me back plus I’m a stay at home mum that has lost a lot of confidence and I always feel confused.
I have had the hardest time since my son was born my partner either completely ignoring me for months on end or criticizing me, going behind my back making fun of me or talking bad of me (I’ve seen text messages to his cousin), calling me fat (I’m a size 10 and have been trying really hard to lose weight but he wouldn’t let me go the gym for months but still calls me fat.) his family have yelled at me kicked me out of my home, called me names, taken my son away from me when he has been upset because his mum knows better than me as she said. Never once has he stood up for me. I’ve looked after my son from day one whilst going through so much abuse (emotional, money cut off, car taken away) and tried my best to be a good mum but now my partner says if I leave him he will get full custody and I’m scared. I’m always scared and stressed and I have no one my partner uses it all against me. I have been through so much and I’m really tired of all the emotional stress. I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared my son will be taken from me and I have panic attacks and my partner says that’s why I can’t have him but he doesn’t think that maybe he has worn me so far down that I feel so trapped everyday that he has contributed to the panic attacks. I don’t know what to do feeling desperate.
7 Replies
If you leave now the baby will stay with you and have visits with him.
Thats a typical threat assholes make to stop you even trying.
You do need time away from him. You need some fresh air to clear your mind and see yourself and life and whats going on here with fresh eyes and regained confidence.
If your relationship is to work out youll need that new confidence and no tolerance for bullshit, but honestly, you will soar on your own. You have alot of good things that will happen to you.
Thanks I’m just so scared. He laughs because we have no where to go but what father laughs that his baby will live who knows where and laughs that I have no car because everything is under his name. I’m just so tired of everyday being told how I fail, am ugly, stupid, no friends, and often this is done in public. I really hate being threatened about losing my son most of all(from a man who hasn’t even looked after him for 24 hours alone before).
Yep hes wrong and its time to get out and show him you can.
Youre strong. Youre smart. Youre an amazing mother. Youre resilient. Youre creative, hardworking and resourceful. You will make it work.
Look for a small place in town so you can walk or get the bus around.
You should contact 1800RESPECT which is a domestic violence hotline. They can give you some advice about how you and your son can leave safely. Don't leave your baby alone with him whatever you do as your partner can keep him and you will have to go to mediation and/or court to get him back. My mum left my sister with my dad while she got her new place set up and he then withheld my sister! Perhaps see your GP who can refer you to a counsellor. I think you can get 10 free sessions with a mental health plan. You can also see a social worker at Centrelink in regards to payments in a DV situation. Good luck
You haven't mentioned your own family? Are they able to help you get out? Give you a bed or a couch?
There's absolutely no reason he would get custody of your child, He's using it as a control tactic.
You need to just walk out, go to your closest welfare organisation, they will help you, if they can't, they will try to send you somewhere that can. If you don't know where to go, centrelink or even your local police station can tell you where you need to go.
What you have described IS domestic violence
If you lived near me, I'd set you up until you found your feet.
I know that i don't know you but your partner is a c*nt and you deserve better.
Please get out. Get out now
I left with 3 kids, no job and no home, a decade on it is still one of the best days of my life.
I was miserable, my ex was selfish, lazy, judgmental asshole, I have not looked back.
There is so much available support out there for you, just do a bit of research as to whats in your state. It’s not easy financially, but your freedom, omg, nothing compares to it, you don’t care if you have to eat 2 minute noodles for the rest of your life, the freedom is f’ing priceless. Life is too short to suffer assholes, especially ones that are ment to love and protect you.
He sounds narcissistic, my ex was one of a those, and guess who has no time for his kids anymore, he found himself wife number 2 and forgot he had kids, got a divorce from her, then wanted to see the kids again, then has got married to his third wife, and guess who he decided weren’t important anymore.
People like them are horrible selfish humans, run now before you have anymore kids with him.
Wish you all the best hon, you are totally strong enough, he just wants you to think your not so you won’t leave. Show that f’ing prick how strong you are.