I need help. I am so lost.
I have 3 young children after previously losing two stillborns.
This wasn’t planned. And I am so fearful to have another child. Not only the health complications (high chance bubs won’t survive), but the impact it will have on myself and my family.
Yes, most would say “surely you can’t be serious”, “haven’t you heard of protection”.. well yes, yes I have. And I fell pregnant whilst on it.
I returned to work a few months ago (after having 2 years of for #2 and then #3 who are 12 months apart). I know I will get leave, but I am just getting back on my feet.
I feel having another will break me. I (yes you’d think having 3 kids I would love it) cannot handle the newborn stage. I suffer from both pre and post natal. And I’m just now on the other end of it (bubs is just over 1yo).
I feel I can’t do this. I can’t have this baby. But god, I am riddled with guilt. I just have no idea what to do and it’s keeping me awake at night.
I just need a lending ear. For those reading this, thank you.