Hi IM's, I'm just wondering if I am in a relationship with a mummy's boy!
We see her EVERY day.
My bf has pets over at his mum's so he kind of has to go over every night to check on them and feed them etc, although that said, why couldn't he just get her to check on them and feed them every once in a while?
But he always has to go inside and sit down and chat with them for at LEAST half an hour every time.
I'm so sick of seeing her EVERY day. She's a lovely woman and all but I don't think its necessary for him to see her every night.
She offers dinner some nights and without consulting me he always says yes.
Even on the very rare occasion he doesnt see her they call and text every day, and he seems actually UPSET when she isn't home some nights!
Is this mummy's boy or am I over thinking it? I just want to be with him some nights at home instead of racing out every night.
Do I have a mummy's boy for a partner?
Do I have a mummy's boy for a partner?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
17 Replies
That would drive me crazy! He does sound like a mummy’s boy but why is he one?
Maybe he feels obliged to talk to her every day because she’s looking after his pets or maybe he likes her company or making sure she’s ok. I do think it’s weird for a grown man to see their mum every day though.
I think this shows a healthy loving family. He's just spending time with hei hope my son enjoys my company once he's older.
Just because he sees her everyday doesn’t mean you have to. If it’s just half an hour and he has his pet there he is being a good pet owner. It would be rude not to stay for 1/2 hour.
My partner has lunch with his folks every work day at their place. They also call him a lot over minor things. I don’t think he’s a mummy’s boy but he is quite immature (not in a nasty way, more a sheltered way). He is an only child and there is no extended family local. They are lovely people but I do find it over the top. But it doesn’t seem to interfere with our relationship. I have a dysfunctional family who are critical and heartless so I guess I’ll never understand the close bonds people have with their family!
My partner was (and can still be like this) and it used to bother me a lot. But I’ve come to realise it’s a good thing. He cares and respects his mum and that’s definitely a good trait. He has proved to treat me very much the same. And his mum doesn’t cross the line when it come to our relationship (I believe some mummy’s boys have toxic mothers who disrupt their relationships) but that has never been us.
I have learned over the years that I needn’t see them that often other wise I start getting pissed, but I just don’t need to see them as often as he does. So I take the time to do something for myself. Even it’s some trash tv.
I think so long as he isn’t sacrificing things with you or mistreating you, it’s not a bad thing. So long his mum isn’t coming in between the relationship, it’s fine
Sounds like the pets are there BECAUSE he is anyway. Most likely when thats done there will be something else...
My partner hasn't seen his mum in 5 years, they speak if there's been a death in the family or she has the sudden urge to be half a mother while she's drunk.
My own mother isn't much better!
Honestly, I think this is lovely. They are obviously very close. I see my grandma (she practically raised me) every few days and I call her on the days I don't, does that make me a "Nanna's girl"?
All I can suggest is not going every time if it's too much for you.
What a lucky mum to have such a caring beautiful boy - she’s clearly done a great job! Appreciate her while she’s here hopefully he’ll have the same relationship with his kids
There's not enough information. If the mother is controlling and smothering, then there's a problem. But when you have a son, you will understand the love and bond a mother and her son have and you will possibly understand more?
Reading this, I'm not sure you are suited to be together. You've never had a pet have you? Pets are part of the family and if he has moved in with you and left his pets behind, its like a piece of him is missing. Of course he's going to want to see his pets every night and if his Mum is there, it doesn't make him a Mumma's boy. I think this is healthy. It shows once he takes something on, he is devoted to it. Maybe you need embrace it and be happy, or find someone who doesn't have pets or isn't family orientated......sorry just my opinion.
This situation sounds really annoying and he is putting her first over you. I can't understand how all these other replies are telling You off & overdoing the praise for this guy! He is not communicating with you about the dinnertime choices, & yes he does sound mummy's boy to me, what arrangements is he making to be responsible for housing His own pets?!
I just read some of the replies on the FB post and almost burst into tears. I didn't want to go into full detail on the post but maybe I should have, he only has FISH at his mother's house, which actually don't need to be fed daily, as said by him.
We also have a newborn baby, plus other children, and he works till around 6pm. He comes home quickly, gets changed, then he goes over to her house to feed the fish every night. I barely see him during the day because he's at work, he comes home, then goes to her house every night. I should've said it takes at least an hour which means he doesn't get home until 7pm, sometimes later. EVERY NIGHT.
And yeah, I guess people could see it as a jealousy thing? But let me say its definitely not! I'm only upset that its never a quiet night at home with just us, its either him racing off to his mother's or he asks me to come along, which I usually do as I LIKE his mum.
I honestly thought it was a bit much to be doing this EVERY night. Our life is already hectic, its exhausting running a household, cooking dinner, dealing with kids, and sometimes I just want to stay home with him and have family time!
Is that so bad of me?!
Oh you poor thing, sounds rough, the witching hour with babies/toddlers is stressful, dinner, baths, getting them to bed, I remember it well, sounds like he’s escaping home for a reason, lazy thing. I have to ask and please, I mean no offence, but why is his fish at hismother’s? This seems kind of odd, to be honest, I thought it must be horses and mum had a large property. Bring the fish home, so he has no reason to go there and maybe set aside one night a week, that he goes over to mums house, even two would be better than the current situation.
They are massive fish, in huge tanks, so harder to move. He is working on getting them over here, its just taking longer than I thought. I would be perfectly happy with once even twice a week, but every night is just getting too much
Well at least he’s working towards moving them over, maybe he just needs a little push to get him over the line lol at least this situation is only temporary 😂 I also think if the ladies had the whole story, their responses would have been much different ❤️
Yeah, unfortunately my emotions/hormones etc are running rampant at the moment and I wasn't thinking straight, so I should've re thought the question before posting it! Still, I'm extremely hurt by the words the mums used... I would've deleted the question before it made it to FB but I forgot!
Remember too, you’re asking a bunch of mummies and many have boys (myself included), so I think you triggered some of them, you know mums and their boys! I have a ten year old and I have vowed to never be one of “those” MILs. Good luck, just remember the comments were based on half your story, shake it off and chalk it up to experience and next time givemore background info to the situation so no one fills in the blanks with their own insecurities 😂