This is a strange one.
My partner has just found out he has a condition, one that is only genetic, except, he has no one in the family prior with this condition. He has spent all night calling family members, here and overseas. Looking at pictures and is now somehow convinced he may not be his fathers child. Although I won’t tell him, he doesn’t have really any traits from his father. I told him it may be genetic but it needs to start somewhere. He wants to do a DNA test against him and a sibling, but if he speaks this, it’s going to cause a lot of drama. What would be the best way to go about this without basically telling anyone?
DNA testing
DNA testing
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Relationships & Marriage, Men's Business, Health & Wellbeing, FAQ
9 Replies
Genetics are such a complex thing.
My son has none of his dads traits either and not really any of mine (physical or otherwise), in fact I've had people actually ask me if he's biologically his father's son!
So that said, if it's just not being able to pinpoint the origin of this condition and the fact he's not really like his dad that's making him come to this conclusion - it would be wise to really consider the implications this may have, it's quite a can of worms to open if it's true and these types of accusations would be incredibly hurtful if it's not!
There's not really a legal/ethical way to test DNA without someone's knowledge or consent, so the only way would be to include a sibling or his father in his theory.
My advice would be to consult with a geneticist or someone who specializes in specifically hereditary conditions for their opinion before heading down the DNA path.
Best of luck!
If he is serious about this, he really needs to consult a counsellor first and be prepared for if the results come out that he isn't his dad's. And the implications this could have on a family. He could be the reason for a broken family and is he prepared to lose all support from them?
I agree. Genetic counselling first. My kids have conditions that are considered genetic but no one in our family on either side has had but after years of digging found they were related to other conditions. They are 100% ours. How do you know it's not from a great-grandparent ect sometimes these things can skip generations.
Just because they don't have the condition doesn't mean they don't carry the gene for it. They can hide for generations and show up whenever they like, there's a family in the US who have 2 daughters with an extremely rare genetic condition that they never knew existed. Considering that your husband has only just found out about his condition, I would say there's a chance people can live with it and not even know they have it so just by asking other family members if they have it isn't really giving you the correct answer. They may well have it too and not even know. If he really wants to get it done just make up some excuse, have the reason being something to do with the condion.
I was going to say that too.
Surely if a genetic condition has been identified, the genetic counselling would be recommending cascade testing of all other family members who could potentially be affected. This would start with both parents typically.
My son has a genetic condition and he was the first in our family to have it. Turns out half the family are carriers of the gene and no child had been born affected until now. So being the first in the family doesn’t mean a thing.
True. My aunt has a condition. My dad got tested and I didn't have to because he was fine, but otherwise, I would have been required
Genetics are complicated. I have 3 kids. 2 have a genetic condition inherited from their father. No one in his father's family have this condition. My son and daughter should have the same mutation however my son has a completely different and extremely rare mutation. My other daughter is 'normal'.
Is he prepared for what he may find out? A woman I know recently went through this, she went through he whole life worried sick about a genetic condition and had her kids tested yearly (it was literally ruining her life with worry) and she found out she was actually adopted and there was no chance she had said condition. Her parents never told her and she lived her life worrying and they saw her doing this!