Child’s behaviour

Anonymous

Child’s behaviour

Does anyone have any suggestions about my daughter? She’s 5 and in prep. She’s always had issues at home with going into almost a trance/state where you can’t get her out. You have to leave her for her to settle down. She will throw things, hit, kick you name it. I can’t make her stay in her room, I can’t make her stay in time out, I’ve tried restraining her, I’ve tried smacking, I’ve tried cuddling. I’ve done triple p and the circle of hands. I’ve tried so many things but nothing helps. I separated 3 years ago from her dad no contact for a year now. We have a dv with both of us. She witnessed his assaults. She was in my arms numerous times. She witnessed him try to take things from our house. She heard him verbally abuse me. She was mentally abused from him telling her things. She has always struggled at home to to keep her emotions in check. However she was at kindy and was the first to help someone who was sad or needed help. She would put kids shoes on. She’d help the teachers. She was the sweetest child. She is at home too at times. We have a little boy a bit younger in our care and she is the sweetest child to him but also not at times. She will hug him and put his shoes on but when she’s in this state/trance there isn’t anything to her out at all. No matter how hard I try. Today at school she has hit a child because he was annoying her and wanted a toy he had. This isn’t like her. She went to the office and had shut down and wouldn’t talk to them and when they tried to keep talking to her she started kicking the couch and wouldn’t listen. This isn’t a new thing and it hasn’t happened since the little boy came into our care it has happened always been like this for my daughter. There isn’t anything that will stop her when she is like that.
What can I do? What am I doing wrong? She’s never showed this behaviour outside of the house except with my family. It’s now concerning me that she’s doing this at school. She never showed this at kindy it’s only since she has been at school this year. I’m so lost. I feel like I’m failing 😢 this is the third time
Since she’s started school that she has been at the office for something like this. Why now? Why not when she was at kindy? I’m so lost.

Posted in:  Education, Behaviour, Kids

11 Replies

Anonymous

Child psychologist and paediatrician would be on my to do list.

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Anonymous

Trance state could be epilepsy? Behaviour also goes down hill when seizures are frequent. I aould take her to the doctor and treat the behaviour and trances separately for now so the dr can concentrate on what's causing them which could be causing the behaviour as well.

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Anonymous

What you describe could be a number of things. See a paediatrician. Preferably private as you'll get a much quicker appointment.

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Anonymous

What you describe could be a number of things. See a paediatrician. Preferably private as you'll get a much quicker appointment.

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Anonymous

My son is the same. I call him the hulk because when he gets into this moods I can’t get him out..
after many issues we decided to take him to a behavioural pead who sent us to a psychologist.. it’s a long process but she thinks is due to anxiety so he lashes out when he can’t control or the situation overwhelms him.

I’ll recommend going to the pead.. and please don’t let people tell
You it’s her age.. tantrums are normal but aggressive behaviour isn’t

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Anonymous

I think by trances you mean meltdowns? Two different things you will end up with confusing advice!

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Anonymous

Yes, I was almost about to suggest it may be absence seizures but I kept reading and realized that this was more a meltdown/behavioural type of thing.
Definitely get a doctors opinion I think!

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Anonymous

I read it as a meltdown as well, the thing about the Internet is that we can only relate to our experience, she needs a professional to help her specifically.

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Anonymous

My girl has absent seizures, that is like lights are on no one home.
My hubby has Adult ADHD, when emotionally stressed or triggered by certain events he will go into a complete other place. It is a frightening unpredictable place, where his face changes he won't remember what he did or said.

He is on anti anxiety and lots of exercise.

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Anonymous

This little girl needs help. Sounds a lot like my girl and the history too, what you need is a good psychologist who will sort out all of these pieces and get a really good understanding of your girl, and then they will be able to give that to you, along with strategies to help her.

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Anonymous

Get a referral to a paediatrician, then a child psychologist. Get assessments done. And get the appropriate help/support in place, earlier the better.

Read Raising your Spirited child and anything else about girls with aspergers/autism. Even if she’s not ASD, some awareness and strategies they suggest could be useful xx

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