Sex life

Anonymous

Sex life

I have an extremely low sex drive due to a medical issue and medicines I’m on
My partner knew this when we got together. How ever he is always pressuring me for sex
He will wake me up in the middle on the night and then get cranky if I say no. Or he will play with my nipples which I absolutely hate as they are so sensitive and cause me pain.

I’ve tried explaining to him that asking me constantly and nagging me is making me stressed and feel pressured. Idk what else to do I’m so frustrated and upset

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage

14 Replies

Anonymous

Buy him a fleshlight :P

That's really unfair that he's pressuring you, especially going into the relationship knowing full well you didn't have a high sex drive. But it is flattering that he wants you so badly. Could you potentially buy some sex toys and get intimate using these? (i.e. as above a fleshlight?) :)

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Anonymous

You've made some good points but gosh it annoys me when people say this behavior is flattering, because it's far from it and it kind of invalidates the person on the receiving end feelings of being disrespected.
It also implies that it's Ok for men to treat women like this because they want them so badly, most women I know don't want to be treated as little more than an object of a man's desire.

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Anonymous

That's shit of him. He is being Beth selfish and not listening to you. He knew what the deal was when the relationship started. But even if he didn't know the deal it's just not ok.
It's not flattering, it's exhausting, distressing and it shows a lack of disrespect on his part.
I've been on the receiving end of this behaviour. I was suffering from pneumonia and asthma. The GP had only not sent me to hospital because it would distress my disabled son. My partner kept pestering me for sex. It was awful. It was abusive. It was obvious I couldn't breath and was very distressed. Yet he expected his penis to be seen too!
I obviously ended it right then and there.

Only you can decide if this is something that you can live with. I obviously couldn't. It's unlikely he will change though as he seems to lack empathy and be ruled by his sex drive.

PS there is nothing flattering about it. What people don't realise is it's not because you and I are so sexy or special to our partner. It's because our partner lack empathy, lack impulse control and think they are owed/deserve it on tap whenever.

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Anonymous

Great answer

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Anonymous

Absolutely! Disrespectful and crossing lines, dont twist it to be a positive nothing positive about it

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Anonymous

100% yes!
Flattering = being treated with love, dignity and respect.
This behavior is a lot of things but it ain't flattering!

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Anonymous

I'm totally the opposite to everyone then lol, I think this is flattering. It makes me feel sexy and wanted when my hubby still wants me when I am sick as a dog. But he is gentle about it, not demanding. Making sure I am feeling okay and tells me he loves me.

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Anonymous

If he was doing something you hated but he liked then you would feel differently, especially him doing it when youre sick as a dog. Thas whats happening here.

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Anonymous

It's fine that you find it flattering and it's obviously not an issue in your relationship but the OP said it's making her frustrated and upset.
So telling her "it's flattering" is like telling her to suck it up basically, I think that's where people are taking an issue with it!

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Anonymous

There is a big difference between a flattering come on when you are sick or not up for it, than persistently nagging, and ignoring someone's pleas to stop.
The guy I was with if he had accepted a not tonight, I'm really not well enough, that's fine. It's the not listening, the persistence and waking you up when it is beyond clear you've said no, I don't feel well enough or not in the mood.

Big difference..

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Anonymous

I am the poster of this question and I don’t find it flattering at all

If you like being woken up in the middle of the night or constantly bagged and pressured that’s your own choice :(

I do get that he has a sex drive but it’s not flattering

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Anonymous

Agree!

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Anonymous

This is a bit like my relationship. I have spoken to my husband about how he can touch my boobs without hurting me because he does it between 5 and 30 times a day. I also let him know they're off bounds if I say so and I plan when we can have sex and stick to that plan. Since I initiate it he doesn't know I've planned it out so he doesn't feel like it's a charity screw. And it works better for me that way too. You need a Frank conversation where you discuss this when you're not reacting emotionally because you need to feel respected but I'm assuming you love him and don't want him to look elsewhere so you need to give him a bit of what he needs from his wife too.

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Anonymous

Get some marriage counselling so you can both be on the same page, if that can’t happen, then go to plan B...

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