What should I do?
I’m single so I jumped on tinder to have a look. I found my sons best friends Dad on there, he is married and I regularly speak to the Mum, I wouldn’t say we are close friends but our boys who are 7 play together and go to each other’s houses. I’m not sure if it’s really my place to say anything but on the other hand i would want to know. And I definitely don’t want it to mess up my sons friendship so I think it’s best not to say anything, but then I feel guilty at the same time....
help!
I found a friends partner on tinder! What do I do?
I found a friends partner on tinder! What do I do?
Posted in:
Relationships & Marriage
12 Replies
Screen shot and tell her. I've never regretted being told.
Totally up to you. I am very strongly for telling but if you dont know her its harder. If youre close and chat and have her number then I would definitely screenshot and share. But if youre only acquaintances through sons then its harder.
I'd screen shot it and just show her. Just say i came across this and thought you should know...if you didnt already. Leave the rest up to her.
This is probably an unpopular opinion but I wouldn't say anything, there's not enough information to say he's cheating, the tinder profile might be old, she may know about it already. A happily married friend of mine has a tinder profile that her and her husband use to make fun of people (as questionable as that is), so it's not always sinister.
There's always the risk that she'll shoot the messenger too, there's a risk you'll be dragged into all the drama.
So unless it was my best best friend or my sister, I'd just be like 'not my concern' just for the sake of my sanity because I've done the supposed "right thing" in a similar situation before and it caused me more trouble than it was worth.
If you're concerned about remaining anonymous, you could screenshot the profile, print it out and mail it to her.
Definitely tell her, do it anonymous if you don’t want to get involved but she deserves to know.
I would screen shot it also and show her. If it was my husband or partner I’d want to know.
So tricky , relationships can be so complex now days she could be aware or have some sort of open relationship or not know at all or it could be old ... Sometimes it says last visited .. you could do some research yourself , make another profile and see if you get a response best case no response you rest easy , worst case you have some information that he has intent and you share it with her either anonymous or openly. But either way I feel the hurt that could come from this would make it awkward for you and you risk making things very tense between you.
My (now ex) partner was having an affair with a married woman (we all had kids). He was abusive i stayed until i found out about the new relationship he was in. It was my blessing in disguise.
I found out took photos of the conversations and sent them to the husband. You must take photos or it could be taken wrongly and then you can not have any input other than give her the factual evidence really.
I can tell you i dont one bit EVER regretting telling him. He had no idea and now they are seperated. He is greatful i told him but i ultimately gave him what i new and we have supported each other and at the end of the day it was always his decision. She continued to lie and told half truths.
Im going against the grain here but don't tell her - you aren't best friends, you don't know the ins & outs & if it was me I actualky wouldn't want to know unless he was telling me.
I found myself in this situation a couple of years ago. I’m married and not on tinder but a single mate of mine is and found another close friend of mines partner on tinder. She is more of an acquaintance with this couple so felt awkward about being the one to say something so handballed it to me. I sat on it for a few days deciding whether I should say something but thought if it was my husband I’d want to know and would feel betrayed if my friends knew and didn’t say anything so I contacted my mate and told him to ring when he got home that night as I had something important to tell him (I didn’t want to drop that shit on him while he was at work) when he called back that night I was honest and said this other friend had seen his partner on tinder. As it turned out they are in an open relationship and occasionally have threesomes so he knew his partner was on tinder so it was all good and we had a laugh about it. He did say “Thank you, I guess now I know you’re a true friend and will always have my back and not turn a blind eye no matter how awkward or confronting the situation is”.
I'd tell. I saw the husband of a woman who was being cheated on cheating the same day she was telling another person he was working. She found out he was cheating when the woman got pregnant. Poor woman woman was so upset. I knew about 6months earlier but didn't think it was my place to say.