I'm guessing this is just a vent mostly. Im a single mum to two beautiful little boys. Im currently pregnant with number 3. Just over a year ago, I left my kids father due to domestic violence. There was a lot of mental abuse, financial abuse, alcohol abuse etc. When I left him, he kept everything. The house, cars, furniture the lot! At the time I thought if I didn't persue a settlement, he'd let me live peacefully. Big mistake!
I was shuffled around hotels and refuges with my children for the longest time. My eldest child being autistic made things so much more stressful - I really lost myself.
I thought I had found it again when I had met a new man and was housed. Things were going great. Until they weren't. He ultimately got me pregnant and left. He left me in debt because I was paying for a family of now 6 on a single income. Bills went through the roof, food bills tripled.
When he left things only got worse. He'd borrowed my car on a few occasions and racked up seeding fines. Gas and electricity bills through the roof. My savings run dry and my hope is lost.
I'm left with $300 a week to feed my children, pay bills and keep my car running. Usually the kids eat and I go without. I tried calling churches for help, but being christmas, there's just not enough resource to help.
My car is too small and of too less of value to sell. I have no money spare to get a new car. Loans knock me back because I'm an unemployed carer to my son. I have no family support - my ex made sure he drove them all away and moved states.
For a while I was able to pawn jewellery to live, but that ran out. Sometimes I find myself considering signing up to one of those sex hotlines just to make ends meet. I'm so disgusted in my life and myself. I was stable and had savings and now I'm nothing but a joke of a person and mother.
3 Replies
This broke my heart. Dont ever feel like you're nothing, because to your children, you are everything.
I have been right where you are, with absolutely nothing. We sold everything we owned and moved interstate, only for him to beat me in front of our children 6 weeks later, so I fled, like you, with nothing.
It felt like rock bottom having to go to places asking for help with bills. I was so ashamed but my God was a weight lifted. They paid huge chunks off my bills and offered food hampers, Christmas hampers etc. I dont know where you are but I visited Somerville, Anglicare, Salvation Army. Please get in touch with them, they helped so much. I also had a card which gave me 50% off power bills (life saver), reduced rego, free license renewal, free prescription glasses among other things.
Get in contact with Centrelink and ask what you are entitled to in terms of caring for your Son. Your payments should go up if you haven't been paid for it yet. When I finally managed to get on Single Parent Payment, I wad on around $1100 a fortnight and it was enough to keep myself and my two kids afloat. We weren't comfortable by any means, but it was enough. I also secured a casual job which also helped.
I hope I have helped in some way, but keep your head up Mama. There IS a light at the end of this tunnel, I promise you. It gets easier. At one point I was so low I was ready to give my kids to their Father and end my life but things changed for me and now I am the happiest I have ever been in my life.
It WILL get better. All the best x
As a single mum myself breaks my heart for the same reason above. I’ve been there too. I wish I could help :-( Might help to know what region or state you are in.
Hi there, being pregnant again sure isn't the best scenario, you might need an extra year or so to be pregnant and care for your newborn until you're ready to start making moves again, but you will get through.
First and most important thing is to set up yourself so at you can get by fortnightly on the money you get. Reply to the fines and you name him as the driver so they go to him. Contact all debts and explain you are pregnant and single and can't pay and go onto a very low payment plan. Get a cheap stable rental place to live, (it will take time to sort out, but will make life much easier to handle). Basic Furnish it from the salvos and second hand stores they even have vans and will deliver, it's so much cheaper.
If you can get by on what you have, that at least takes the stress off you for the meanwhile so you can just focus on your kids and your baby and slowly get things in line and looking better.
make do with your car for now. Once you sort things out it will get easier to start planning and upgrading things one by one, and once your baby's older you'll be able to look for some work and you'll start making your new life, not just getting by. It takes time and it's really important just to take the stress off yourself, make sure you're making time and treating yourself kindly. Also be aware it's that time of the year with so much extra pressure on, it's a very stressful depressing time when you're struggling. I would also suggest a psychologist to help you deal with the mental load and also help you to live independently and build up your own lovely home for yourself and kids.