Hey Ladies, firstly, please no judgment. I've written in a few times before, but I am honestly at a loss now and in need of help 😞.. long story short, for personal reasons, I left my marriage 13 months ago, but left my ex in the house, and he stopped paying the mortgage, so instead of going bankrupt, I made the tough decision to move back in to get the arrears paid off (he wouldn't agree to sell). 3 months later, we are up to date with the mortgage and I keep broaching the subject of selling with him and he continues to refuse. We have young children together, and I pay for EVERYTHING for them. We both earn roughly the same amount each week, yet I have to pay half the mortgage, plus ALL of the bills and childcare on my own. He is supposed to pay half of the mortgage weekly, but he has paid 2 payments in the last 2 months. I feel like a modern day Cinderella, all I do is clean a house that I'm barely in, so my kids have a decent place to stay. My question is, how can I force this leech to sell our house, if any way possible? I can't pay for him anymore, it's extremely crippling. I've started mediation but awaiting his response, which could take a while, and all Lawyers I have spoken to have said that because I earn over the $50k threshold for Legal aid, I cant access any legal assistance. All lawyers I have spoken to say that I need to represent myself in court. Any advice would be amazing!! Thank you
4 Replies
First step kick him out of the house physically, then take him to court for the payments on the mortgage, or to take his name off or agree to sell, I think you might find he won't be so keen to be an asshole when it affects him not you, but right now he's pulling all the strings and you're dancing right along.
Start the devorse so you can separate your assets. He will either be forced to sell the house or pay you out.
Go through the Family Court and file and application for the sale of the house. It's an application that appoints a trustee for sale (that could be you). Please go and see a lawyer and get their professional advice, even if it is a one off consultation and then you do it yourself.
It's not hard and he has not got a hand over you whether you think it or not. Don't speak with the bank because if they sell it they will sell it for their costs only.
As hard as it may seem right now, you should look at the benefits of actually paying a lawyer, for the sake of yours and your children's stable future, think of it as an investment in them. I've been in family court a couple of times and my lawyer, while expensive, has done so much to protect my kids that I don't feel I could have achieved alone. As others have mentioned, you'll need to do property settlement as part of divorce, and you'll need this on paper to sell so don't delay. Good luck, you will get through this.