Hi mums, i guess im after some advice. My middle son has always been difficult and i have always been of the opinion that he is just strong willed. But lately i have had a lot of comments made by family, friends and teachers that i should have him tested for ADHD markers meanwhile my eldest son has been seeing a psychiatrist for anxiety issues and she has stated he has strong markers of high functioning autism.
At the moment i just feel lost, im not sure whether people are just trying to label their personalities, whether this explains why they are the way they are, or whether its my parenting thats failing them.
I love my boys and everything about them i just dont want to fail them.
ADD/ADHD/ autism labels
ADD/ADHD/ autism labels
Posted in:
Kids, Aspergers & Autism
3 Replies
My experience is that labels do three main things. It helps you understand and know that your doing the best thing. It helps them understand and accept why they are them.
It gets assistance.
And its incredibly hard to get a diagnosis so if teachers drs are telling you to check him its worth pursuing - these are the kids that struggle through school without any supports.
As for your eldest, anxiety can cause the same markers as adhd or asd so thats very possible but again if in doubt best to check although if its hard for the doctors to see whether the cause is asd or anxiety, it will probably be a long process with various specialists.
Also, being realistic, it can be parenting that even inadvertently supports that behaviour, if youre seriously in doubt make an appointment and discuss it. But feeling a level of guilt and confusion is normal too I think dont be too hard on yourself.
Get them assessed.
It's not a parenting failure, there brains are wired differently. You can't make your children have ASD or ADHD it's the way they are born.
Yes parenting strategies can help your children but fantastic parents can have kids with diagnosis just as well as crappy parents can.
Getting them assessed or having a diagnosis isn't a failure. It just gives you information about your children, and open doors to positive supports to help your children be there best selves.
It will also make future schooling smoother, the teachers will be able to be better prepared to teach your children rather than being on the back foot at the start of each year.
My sons diagnosis was a positive thing in our lives, as was our nephews. It totally changed both kids schooling experience from one that was quite negative, to one that is amazingly positive because the school has been able to support them in a proactive positive way.
I don't label my child he has a diagnosis that assists in getting the help and therapies he needs so look at it in another perspective 😊