I've been with my partner for 4 years. We were great friends for 6 years prior to our relationship. We've had a pretty solid connection for most of this time, though I can feel it rapidly slipping away. He's always been really bad with money and spending decisions, will always buy the things he wants before paying the bills. He isn't emotionally available and is cut off from me all time time. There have been moments where I'm.upset and crying in bed next to him, and he just lays there with nothing to say. No hug, no reassurance, no empathy. He's completely lazy and does nothing to contribute to the household. I get rolled eyes if I ask for help. And at times he will even create an argument to get out of helping with chores. We have two small kids together, both of which he has an extremely small tolerance for. They don't get any of his time out if his own willingness, and feels forced if I ask him.
I'm literally at a point where I'm ready to be on my own. I'd much rather have no expectations from him than to have my expectations crushed every day. I pull my weight ten fold. I do everything for the house and the kids, and I don't ask for much in return.
The thought of him near me at the moment is repulsive. I don't want him to touch me or even breathe on me. I know this sounds horrible, and maybe that makes me a horrible person. But he was do wonderful at the start (remember we were friends for a long time) and even pushed for us to start a family.
I basically want to know if this may be a phase, or if I'm alone in feeling this way.
I'm so over it.
4 Replies
Thats how it was when I left, plus other things but Id been overlooking the daily misery - but thats everything, thats life, of course its important. Im happy now would never go back should never have been there.
It seems it's typical narcissistic behaviour... amazing at first then slowly it unravels.. All the signs are there I'm afraid.. my advice is to leave now the longer you put it off the harder the head wreck it's a train wreck it does not get better as you start to doubt yourself and your values and end up morphing to accommodate his bad behaviour it's so sad and no warning tag comes with people like this I feel your hurt good luck .. best thing to do is write everything down and observe actions really do.speak volumes and when your eyes are really open the decision will be like a lit door
I have a relationship 'rule'. When your partner is disengaged in the relationship and you are the only one actively engaged, it's DoNE.
Don't wait for him to say it. Some people will keep you in a relationship rather than speak the truth and let you get on with your life.
People's actions matter far more than there words. His actions are shit and telling you it's done.
Time to set yourself free.
I get like this in my marriage & if he didn't go from good to bad all the time it would be so much easier. If he was a miserable grump all the time I would be gone. There's only so much u can do & life is short. Although it's never that simple