I'm thinking about changing my youngest son's school next year. His brother is off to high school next year so he will be the last one there. My youngest suffers anxiety though and I'm not sure how he would handle the change.
I love his current school community but this year the school administration has let me down a few times.
At the end of last term my son was in a fight with another boy. My son said some not very nice things and they definitely weren't appropriate at school (or anywhere else) and the other boy punched him in the head, hard enough that my son had an egg on his head and a bruise for 2 days. The school decided not to punish any of the boys (there were 3 witnesses who were all mucking around as well) in any way at all. No one was withdrawn from play or given a detention. I personally think my son and the boy who punched him should have both been punished but because they "sorted it out themselves" and are friends again, nothing was done. (I did punish my child at home for his behaviour).
Another problem I have is that today my eldest was supposed to go on an excursion but he has been sick so couldn't go. The excursion isn't refundable as they had to purchase tickets a while ago, so I asked if it would be at all possible to send my youngest instead. I was told no, the school has a blanket policy that his year level isn't allowed to go on this particular excursion, however, I found out that that is in fact a lie as some composite classes that include kids in his year level are going. I could understand if they had just said no he couldn't attend and left it at that but to give a reason that is total BS is not sitting well with me.
Sorry for the long post but I just need some outside perspective. I'm really struggling with what I'd like to do and what I should do. I have asked my son if he would be open to changing schools and he has said it would be a bit scary but it might be cool to have a new start (I think he is in 2 minds about it like I am).
Anyone made a fresh start part way through their child's schooling? How did it go?
7 Replies
Rule the excursion thing out of your list. Taking one child out of there class to go on an excursion, his sibling should have gone on was opening a huge can of worms. They gave you an off the cuff excuse. Any school would have done the same.
What year is your son in? If he only has one or two years to go, I'd leave him where he is. ALL schools have problems, and in this case I'd rather the school I know than the school I don't.
If he is in the first few years of school and you aren't happy then I'd consider moving.
The excursion thing is a bit petty.
Excursions are curriculum based so it doesn't make sense to have a student from another grade and class attend, composite classes cater to the curriculum of 2 grades which is why that's probably the case. it's annoying losing money but it is what it is.
As for the fight, maybe it wasn't dealt with in the best way but all is well now, the boys are friends again and it sounds like they've learned better ways to resolve conflict.
I wouldn't change schools for these reasons, no school is perfect. These issues your having are fairly arbitrary and it doesn't sound like he has long left before high school.
I'd just leave him.
The excursion thing could be a simple misunderstanding on the staff's part. Perhaps they really thought that was the case. I don't think you should change schools for those reasons and your son doesn't sound convinced either. I'd just leave him.
I think we need to encourage resilience in children. To me none of the issues outlined above really screams 'change schools!!!' and trust me, I went through plenty of schools myself. Leave him. He has to deal with disappointments and consequences. Other schools have their own issues - it will be quite hard to be the new kid too.
I don't know any school that would let a sibling go in another child's place on an excursion, I'm sorry but that is nothing to be upset about. Composite classes will usually all go on the same excursions unless it's something specifically for a certain year like high school orientation. That's just one of the ups of being in a composite class I guess.
As for the fight, good on you for wanting some kind of punishment for the two boys. By the school not punishing they are basically saying its OK to fight at school as long as you're mates again afterwards! I don't think a one off incident is cause enough to change schools though. If they continue to let kids get away with this behaviour I would take it further, even if your boy was not involved.
The excursion thing is something you just have to cop, your other child cant leave his class to take his place, regardless what other composite classes are doing, so its a no youll just have to accept.
The issue with office staff is valid, however, is it your issue, or your childs? I also have dealt with a rude old bag of an office lady, so I understand you dont want your child interacting with that but it actually sounds like overall youve had a good experience with the school but this is a reaction to your feelings and overall staying would be better for him.
You could look at what the alternatives are, get a feel for what would change for him and whether its worth it.
Hmmm are you looking for excuses to move him because deep down you know it's not the right school for him?
Be honest with yourself. Is this about your child's best interest or about you? Is this your anxiety about having one vulnerable kid left on his own? If so, that won't necessarily change at a new school.
Having said all that... I have kids with autism and have moved schools several times. Any issues that arise, and they always do, I attempt to work with the school, if nothing improves after 6 months or so, then we change. My kids mental health is top priority.
Trust is a biggie for me. I am entrusting a school and its staff with my precious vulnerable children, if I can't trust them, then forget it!
Parents who don't have special needs kids generally don't have to think about any of these things, so don't take advice from those who don't understand