Very long story short.....after a horrendous marriage that I jumped into at 18, I have come out the other side. It's been a few years now and much to my surprise I have found my person. I had long ago accepted that the happily ever after with Prince Charming wasn't for me, but here he is, throwing rocks at my window, blasting his boom box with cheesey love songs. The thing is, I'm terrified, I lost so so much in my marriage, that the thought of trying again makes me break out in a cold sweat. He's mentioned it a few times and says I'm the one for him and he'd love to get married and move into together, the whole shabang. I don't want to miss out on experiencing these things with him and moving on with my life and having him in it. But I just can't seem to take that leap. How have you lovely IM's done it? How did you dust off and try again?
2 Replies
If he's the right guy and mr wonderful he will give you time to prepare yourself. There is no rush. Get to really know him. People are generally on there best behaviour for the first 12 months. You want to see him at his worst. You want to know if he fights mean or fair. Will he hold your hair while you vomit?
If he is the right guy he will let you get to reallu know him about and then you'll be ready.
Yes to the above comment... take a lot of time to get to really know the person and make sure that their actions represent their words. Much past that you will just find a way if he is right. Don't be afraid to have open conversations about hard topics. For me this would mean a conversation about both party's having a set amount aside for the "just incase" things don't work out. I was in a marriage that didn't work and because I was a SAHM at the time I had to leave with nothing and that's just something I won't be going through again. I went back to work full time and struggled to get where I am now so that won't be taken from me again. Voice what you need to feel secure and you will let him in with time. I really hope he is the one for you 😊