I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with my first. Before this I had 6 miscarriages. I tried so hard to get pregnant but now
I don't feel any connection with this baby. I obviously don't want anything to happen but that is as far as it goes. I'm so scared that when it's born I still won't feel a connection and I'll be a terrible mother. Should I speak to someone about this now? Has anyone else felt this way and been ok after the baby is born?
No connection
No connection
Posted in:
Pregnancy
11 Replies
I havnt been in your situation but iam thinking maybe because you had 6 miscarrages that maybe you just havnt wanted to get your hopes up..and maybr that has made you feel as thouvh you have no connection with this bub..sorry for your losses that would be very difficult! I think once you meet your baby you will fall in love.. although when my daughter was born it was all a big new thing with me and i didnt havr that instant connection either.. it took a few hours of bonding time and then everything was fine! She is 3 now and she is the love of my life. Good luck maybe speak to someone about it but im sure you will be fine.
Please talk to your doctor about what you are feeling. I felt like this throughout my pregnancy and didnt tell anyone. When I was diagnosed with post natal the doctors suspected I also had prenatal depression. I am by no means saying that is what is happening with you but I think its definetly something to discuss with your doctor
I had this issue with my first baby after miscarriages. Its due to being afraid to get attached because you are scared to feel anything incase they get taken away from you in one way or another. It took me about 6mths after she was born to realise it was all real and that she was safe to fall in love with. Just dont put too many expectations on yourself. Put some thought into understanding those thoughts and feelings and why you are feeling it. It is very normal in that situation. If you think seeing somebody about it would help then definitely do it.
I'm currently pregnant with my 4th I went through ivf to get this baby, I don't let myself feel much because I'm so scared that something is going to go wrong, this preganacy has been a dream compared to any other pregnancy I have been through. I'm not sick and I haven't had a day of morning sickness, and too me it feels wrong but so right.
Please please talk to your doctor about how you are feeling. They will help you. The feelings you are feeling are completely normal after what you have been through but they can be worked through so that when your baby comes you'll be prepared for the amount of love you'll be overwhelmed by.
I had this. My baby was a miracle baby. I didn't buy anything for her until she was 30 weeks. Then I really didn't even tell many people that I was pregnant until after she was born(helped that I didn't look pregnant). I had an awful pregnancy, and didn't feel too attached. However when she arrived she was perfect. That bond was pretty much instant. The love of my life.
You don't have a bond as you're terrified something might happen. Once that baby is here and in your arms I promise you that you will love that baby with every inch of you. It might be a good idea to go and see someone and talk through your worries xx
I was in an abusive relationship and had no connection to my unborn child either. I expected the worst and that she wouldn't survive to full term, on top of that, I struggled to love something that was forming in such a horrible environment and was part of Him.
I had social workers and psychiatrists trying to put my onto antidepressants so I didn't experience post natal depression after she was born, but thankfully I resisted. Sometimes people just need to keep things at a distance sometimes to protect the heart and the mind, but the second my daughter was born, the love and bond was there, immediately!! (Never underestimate those naturalnpregnancy hormones, they're pretty good at doing their job!).
But regardless, I didn't need pills or psych intervention, I just needed to see and feel her safely in my arms and realise she wasn't Him, she was her own, unique little self.
It sounds like what you've been through you also need the same. 6 miscarriages is a lot to go through. The only piece of advice I can offer you is that there's no need to panic and rush into meds, I do recommend counselling if it's available now. Help is there both pre and post natal, if you still feel the same after the birth, reassess what you need and have open communication with your support networks.
Good luck!
I can totally relate.. we had 4 miscarriages and when i finally did get pregnant and carry every moment was covered in doubt and worry. The moment he was born and in my arms all the grief and worry disappeared and i was totally overcome by untouchable love. Good luck to you xo
Wait till you have Bub. Your feelings will change. I have lost 6 babies also.
Wait till you have Bub. Your feelings will change. I have lost 6 babies also.
I have been blessed to never have to face the pain of losing a pregnancy, so I don't think it had much to do with protecting myself, but until in held my first there was just nothing. We tried for her, I was happy, I'm sure I would have been devastated to lose her but I just had no connection or attachment for the baby. I am sure that once you get to hold your beautiful little person that you will find nothing but love. However if you find that the connection is not growing please make sure you speak to your gp about pnd. You don't have to be sad to have pnd, it can manifest in many ways, don't suffer when you don't have to x