I was with the father of my 4 children for 12 years and one day he went to work and never came home. He has serious mental issues, so when he walked away I was happy, relieved. My children were happier too. That was in February. He has made no effort to better himself by getting himself into a house so he can start having time with his children. He's living in a hotel..But I do allow him to take the kids out whenever he wants within reason.
Any time that he wants too see his children and I already have plans he expects me to drop my plans so he can have them and if I don't, he tells me that I'm withholding them from him and because there isn't any legal arrangement yet he says he can have me charged? Is this true? I thought that he left any parental rights to the children when he walked out the door. Can someone help me please xx
8 Replies
No he can't have you charged, and yes he still has parental rights. I think you should start the process of getting it all legal, who's to say the next time he does a runner he doesn't take the kids with him?
Yes very true I will get on to that soon. Thanks!
Hahaha bless his ridiculousness.
NO he can not have you charged at all.
He can take you to mediation and all that would happen would be a parenting plan would be drawn up making set times and places for him to have his kids. I can guarantee he does not want set times because he couldn't keep to a schedule. I personally would start this process myself. He might not show up, but it shows you are trying to do the right thing. If he does show it would be good to have set times in place so you can tell him to take a run and jump if he doesn't show up. It's worth paying the money to have the parenting plan ratified as court orders so if he does a runner with the kids you have protection.
IF mediation failed he could take you to court, he isn't going to do that. He can't organise himself enough to do it and court would then force him into set times and places for visits, which won't suit him at all.
Please don't listen to his mind game stupidity.
Thank you for your comment, the first line cracked me up because I thought the exact same thing haha! Yes I'm waiting until after tax time to go the legal route as I need to find the money. We haven't settled any assets with the 'family business' and bank accounts because of course everything is in his name so I was left without a cent. I'll get there, thanks again x
There are some free legal services available for women. Legal aid for starters,
Check * women's legal services " in your area.
The sooner you get started on the legal stuff - the better all round .
You need to get your situation drawn up asap saying fullntime with you. He is an ass but he is right, if he wanted to keep them as it is, you could be in for a big fight. Socall his bluff and get it drawn up while he has nowhere to offer them to stay. Them stick to the agreement and noyou do not have to drop everything and change plans to suit him, hes clueless.
Very good advice, he is clueless. I think he's listening to other people because he wouldn't even know what withholding meant lol. Thank you x
You both still have the same parental rights regardless of whether you live with the kids or not.
No, he can't have you charged. No your not withholding (thats just being dramatic) just because you already have plans...He cant expect you to drop everything everytime he suddenly wants to see the kids.
Best thing for you guys to do is go through mediation to do a parenting plan so you have a plan in place and there is no last minute "i want the kids right now" and tantrums if you say "sorry timmy is at a birthday party"... etc.