Hey there IMs
I just cant find the joy in anything any more.
Im a stay at home mum of 2 girls. 2yrs and 5yrs. Im studying and run the home and farm. My partner works fifo we have been together 9yrs engaged 6yrs and still not married. I dont even really know what im asking here maybe i just need to vent. Im struggling to deal with everything! Everything that brought me joy just doesn't anymore. My children are a handful and everytime I try to do things for them they just never seem to appreciate it and I find I end up yelling and screaming at them and feeling completely horrible after. My partner just never seems to be here even when his home his finding anything to do away from the home and when he comes back to the house he has dinner and falls asleep on the lounge. It feels like im a single mum. he doesn't help me with the kids at all and even when I tell him I need to get some study done he just tells me that "you'll be right and get it done" he wont even offer to take the girls out for even half a day so I can catch up. I really want to get my study done as it opens up more doors for me to go back to work. I just feel like a baby sitter cleaner maid etc. I do nothing for myself and really dont know what i even like any more.
Sorry for the rant but i just feel like i dont exist any more to anyone. I dont really have any family or friends and the ones i do have I dont want to burden. I think the worst part is to anyone looking in at me i have a nice home and think im lucky to be a sahm and they think my life is perfect but its not. I feel so drained and tired now i just dont want to get out of bed. I just want to be happy but dont know where to start
5 Replies
Kids at the age of 2 and 5 rarely show appreciation for anything, I think you're expecting too much from them. Put them into daycare for a day a week if you can so you can get some study done. Do you have grandparents close by that can help you? Have you been to the doctors it sounds like you're a little depressed maybe a doctor can help you manage it.
When your husband says "you'll be right" you need to say "no I won't be, take them out aa do something with them! You're their dad, do it before I loose my shit" men don't seem too realise that we do not just cope and we won't be right unless we say and state the obvious.
I hope you and he can get through this, he's a fifo worker and he's not there all the time so he won't know what you are going through or how you're feeling all the time.
You sound to me like you need a break. Next time your partner is home head off for a holiday to recharge. I try to do this every year and it's usually more like every second year, but it's for a week or two with my BFF and we have a blast dropping the everything-to-everybody hats and just being us.
No more hinting and no more waiting for offers. Tell. Pick one or two days while he's home to do your study, pack the girls sandwiches and bottled water, tell him he's taking them. Put dinner in the slow cooker so it's ready when they get home and hit those books. They're used to seeing us magically get everything done so they don't realise how hard it is to juggle everything, let him juggle for a bit.
Your partner is an ass! It really annoys me reading about all these lazy husbands/partners and dads. No wonder you feel exhausted! I'd start suggesting he helps out more or you won't be sticking around.
No I see exactly where you are coming from it's very hard and the more that you do the less hubby appreciates you. It's a big thing in fifo in my opinion I have been here.. I guess they work hard and get back and it's really only10% effort they put in .. he needs to.realise that just because he is on break.he is still.a parent the lifestyle makes them a bit more distant to the huge workload we do as fifo wives. The lifestyle is.very lonely for you and not so.much for some fifo men as they enjoy the job it's hardly a sacrifice . I could not sustain it and I'm sure a lot before and after can not either good luck he needs to shape.up.or ship out
Fifo ruins families and relationships and is a horrible way to earn money in my opinion from experience I wish I could turn back time no.amount of money can make up.for the loss of love and family none