How do I stop checking my daughter countless times throughout the night?
My daughter is almost 2 years old and I am still checking her excessively throughout the night, I have only recently transferred her into her own room which was a huge inner struggle for me.
I have always done this since she was a newborn, but now that I am due to have my second in a matter of months I cannot imagine how exhausting my behaviour will become.
My daughters goes to sleep at 7pm, it is now 8:30 and I have checked on her around 4 times and have repositioned her.
This will go on all throughout the night, I wish I did not stress so much but after my nephew passed away from sids 4 years ago I haven't been able to remain calm.
9 Replies
Have you spoken to your GP about this? It's probably a good idea to tell them and ask them for help.
A psychologist can help you with strategies to wean you off of the checking And help manage your anxiety
I spoke to my health nurse about it when my daughter was about a year old, but we never really got right into how bad it really was becoming.
I will defiantly book a doctors appointment, thank you. 🙂
I agree with first poster you need to have a chat with dr before new bub arrives.
I'm sorry to hear about your nephew that's heartbreaking and completely understandable you are so concerned.
Do you have monitors in her room? In my 2.5 yr bed I have a breathing alarm set and a normal audio monitor.
The breathing alarm gives me peace of mind cause I know If she stops breathing the alarm is deafening and would wake me in a second
I have this problem..
This is a form of OCD imo. I get my husband to do the checking for me otherwise I'm in there constantly and for ages. It's hard but it's the only way for us.
I have this problem..
This is a form of OCD imo. I get my husband to do the checking for me otherwise I'm in there constantly and for ages. It's hard but it's the only way for us.
I have this problem..
This is a form of OCD imo. I get my husband to do the checking for me otherwise I'm in there constantly and for ages. It's hard but it's the only way for us.
You make a decision in your head... no matter what comes up you will manage. You need to give her space too rest. Let her move around. Ensure she is set up safe and leave it at that. Trust in your own self you have done your best. Then let it go.
Dont pass your insecurities onto your children. She will be watching you treat the new bub like this. Kids need to be independent sleepers! Seek emotional support via gp with mental health plan. They are bulk billed. Learn skills to manage it. Often you need help from professionals to understand. Something else bothering you. Once you can manage this you will be able to teach your children in time how to overcome there insecurities. One of the best skills in life. Not easy but make a start! Your kids wont be little for ever. Happy mum, happy home environment.
Understandable. See a specialist about your anxiety
You poor thing. That sounds awful to live with such strong anxiety. I'm sorry for you and your family's loss. It's great you are reaching out and asking for help before your baby comes. Once you see someone (through gp mental health plan or via referral from your pregnancy care team) you'll be able to figure out a strategy when the urge to check comes, so you can just stay with the feeling. It sounds like there is some OCD as others mentioned (the thought, my child isn't safe, and and the compulsion, I have to check) but specialists will know more than we do here. You can recover from this. One way for now that might be helpful if you feel anxious is to reflect that this anxiety comes from your big love for your little one. Can you stay just with your love and send them good thoughts without checking? Some people will use meditation or prayer. Whatever works. Also some gentle yoga etc can be good for anxiety even in pregnancy. Big hugs. If only we could protect them forever - one of the biggest heartaches of parenting, that letting go. We just have to let them live their own life and send them with our love into the world.