How do you deal with people lying to you?

Anonymous

How do you deal with people lying to you?

So it was my sons birthday this past weekend. It's a significent birthday so I made a facebook invite for it, gave plenty of notice (4 months) etc etc. My sister in law ignored the invite until a few days before, when she put 'maybe'. Who puts maybe for an invititation to a close family members birthday? Is it like "Maybe I will come, unless something better comes up". This isn't the first time she has done this either but its usually just excuses on the day like my kids are sick etc.
She ended up on the day of the party saying she couldn't make it because she had something else to attend during the time frame of the party.
It was confirmed to us that she lied by someone that knew and also by time stamped pictures she posted.
Is it worth confronting her? Or should I just realise that she isn't worth the time anymore?
I am having a joint birthday for two of my children in a few months, should I even bother inviting her?
My husband wants to confront her about it, but I feel it will just cause trouble.

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage

7 Replies

Anonymous

Its half of each, yeah it will just cause trouble, if she doesnt want to attend your kids parties you wont make her, but then sometimes it just feels good to get it off your chest. And maybe if she knows its important to you she might make an effort. As its his sister Id let him decide.

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Anonymous

As to the Facebook invitation. I never take them seriously. I get the notification and then forget about them. If I haven't received a text, phone call or other invitation I honestly forget. If you don't want a 'maybe' don't use Facebook invites. To me they seem really informal and unimportant.
If the sister in law is your husband family it's up to him to decide what to do.
Personally I would just let it go. Not all families are close, and not everyone wants to be. Some people have there reasons for not wanting to attend. Sometimes it's there own emotional baggage. If this is her first time not attending sonething I'd continue to invite her. If she regularly has done this then I'd stop bothering.

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Anonymous

My sister and brother in law have never come to either of my kids birthdays even though we have been to all of theirs.
I just don't invite them anymore.

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Anonymous

Honestly, the relationship doesn't seem that great so I wouldn't even want them there. I only ever invite people because I want to, not because I feel I should.

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Anonymous

Nah. You probably don't really want her there anyway, right?
Just invite her. Know she's going to respond with maybe and not come and then have a fabulous day with your kids.
It's about the kids. Does it bother them? Most likely not.
Don't let it bother you. Water of a ducks back.

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Anonymous

I gather it's not the fact she didn't attend, it's the fact she lied about WHY she didn't attend that has annoyed you. Because as an adult she is allowed to choose not to attend something. Just maybe say to her- it's ok if you say no, just be direct and honest with us.

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Anonymous

I wouldn't confront her. I'd do some research, see if she ticks the boxes of having NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) as pathological lying is a trait they have. If she ticks lots / all the boxes, do NOT engage with her as these people are toxic.

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