Child - Anxiety

Anonymous

Child - Anxiety

Hi girls,
My son (10) has always been a little short tempered, but it wasn't until recently that I started realizing he may just have anxiety. I asked him what he feels and he explains it as a knot in his stomach, tight chest and his throat hurts. I feel awful that I have only just picked up on this, always just putting it down to a short fuse.
I have booked him an appointment, which is in 1.5 weeks with his doctor. But thought I would ask for some ideas on how to deal with this?
So far, all I can find on the internet is information on children suffering separation anxiety which he doesn't have, nor does he have any fears, it is just when he gets frustrated, annoyed (which is a lot, at his siblings, gaming devices, when things don't go his way).
Thankyou for any advice.

Posted in:  Mental Health, Anxiety & Depression, Self Care, Parenthood Guilt, Health & Wellbeing, Education, Behaviour, Kids

3 Replies

Anonymous

Could also be not remembering his skills to deal with frustration? How does he go with the basics like closing his eyes, deep breaths, counting to 10 etc? I know right into his teens I'd have to keep reminding my son to not lose his shit, to stop, focus, breathe and calm himself.

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Anonymous

It sounds like he's having a bit of trouble coping with frustrating situations which is causing the anxious feelings.
As well as seeing your Dr I'd look into some stress management and/or constructive coping strategies to use when he's feeling frustrated. Some counselling could help too, a lot of children (heck, people of all age in general) can have trouble articulating their feelings which can also exacerbate anxiety. Good luck mamma

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Anonymous

I'm surprised there's nothing on Internet. Google mindfulness for kids, kids coping strategies, dealing with disappointment, deep breathing exercises for kids...

We have a couple of kids books by Kay Al-Ghani, The Dissapointment Dragon and The Red Beast which are great.

Google guided meditation for kids, listen to a few which do breathing and mindfulness for 5 or ten minutes, choose one your son likes the sound of and responds well to their method, then download it to his phone/tablet so he can listen and practice regularly.

You might be surprised that he does have fears, that's what anxiety is, it's not always a known fear tho.

You'll need to stick close by him, to learn his triggers, help him to understand his feelings and how to cope. If it's a video game, encourage him to walk away, get a drink, go outside, pat the dog, or simply stand up, shake your arms, stretch, breath, jump up n down, anything physical to bring his awareness into his body. Some subtle breathing exercises, blow bubbles (they do it in kids hospitals) either with soapy liquid bubble blower things or with s straw and a drink, blowing up balloons or blowing over a house of cards or whatever you can set up to play with.
Play doh, sand, water play are all calming (for us anyway)
Have a bath, shower, swim, particularly salt water is good, you can put Epsom salts in bath with a few drops of lavender for relaxation.

Have a dim quiet environment, relaxing music, scented candles, give him a massage, watch a nice family movie with plenty of humour in it.

There's a thing I've read about but haven't done yet, you tell him to:

Look around you. Find 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This is aimed at anyone of any age who is starting to feel anxious or panicky.

There's heaps of things you can do to support him, good luck!

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