My daughter is 22 months old and I'm a single mum. It's just been the two of us since she was born. She doesn't see her father due to DV so he isn't in her life. We have such a strong bond and she has only been away from me once just after she turned one but only for 6 hours. She coped well, she stayed with family. I'm beginning to go crazy at home 24/7, I really need to get out and do something. I really want to do a couple of courses and I would need to put her in childcare. We've only been to playgroup a few times and she's not too confident yet to play without me being beside her. I'm really worried about leaving her in childcare, soo worried that it makes me sweat and feel sick. I'm worried that she will be really upset that I left her and I don't know what to do. Any suggestions or advice would be really great. Thank you.
I'm soo afraid to put my daughter in childcare
I'm soo afraid to put my daughter in childcare
Posted in:
Parenthood Guilt, Education, Behaviour, Baby & Toddler
10 Replies
Firstly childcare staff are very used to this situation. They are very good at comforting children and easing them into the situation. You don't have to leave your child the entire day or even the entire half day. Talk to the centre you plan to send her to. They'll give you a tour and they can help you come up with a plan to transition.
You can ring and find out how your daughter is going, or you can sit in the car park for an hour and pick her up. You'll be surprised at how quickly she does adjust when you leave. It's normal for children to have a little cry when mum drops them but they quickly settle in.
I hope she does adjust well.... she will be in there 4 days a week. I will put her in for 2 days a week before I start my course just to ease her into it before I put her in for 4 days. Thank you for your response :)
I felt the same leaving my girl who was nearly 3 for the first time and someone suggested Family Day Care to us - we found an amazing carer who our daughter adored. They formed a wonderful close bond and my daughter attended the service for 1.5 years until she was ready for kinder. As she was (is) an only child, the small number of other children around really suited her, she was shy at first but now she's at school and very outgoing, confident and happy.
If FDC isn't for you, for whatever reason, go with a centre that gives you a feeling of ease. I've toured centres that felt like a second home, and some centres that I wouldn't leave my dog at. I reckon you'll know when you get there.
Yes I definitely will trial a few centres before I decide. Thank you :)
I was you - single Mum only me and him. I started when he was 9 months old - I needed a few hours in the day just to do simple things like go to the dr, do laundry, and just let my brain rest. Lol.he was EBF so I chose a centre that was happy to care for him for 4 hrs once a week. That was enough time for me to feed him and leave. He was sad at first, it broke my heart but it was okay. It gave him time to miss me and the daycare centre used to give him cuddles and comfort him. I've since changed centres but he's now 3 and LOVES it!! He now goes 2. Days a week which gives me time to study :)
That's great, I'm happy it turned out well for you :) Thank you
I think most of us are! I'm a single mum with one child, his nana took care of him when I worked from 7 months old (3 days a week) and then got sick, so I had no choice but to put him in. He was three at the time. It's scary, but it's just the beginning, then you leave them for kinder, then school but it's turns out okay, I promise. These places are there to support both the child and mother, mine said on the first day, ring as many times as you want. There will be days when you drop them off and feel guilty, but you just keep going because you have to. Give it a go, mine wasn't confident either, but there was one particular carer he clicked with so I handed him over to her in the morning. You are lucky because you don't actually have to leave her, so you can ease her in and trial what works, I had set days/hours so I didn't have that luxury. Good luck, you can do this. xxxx
Thank you, fingers crossed. I might put her in 2 days a week first just to ease her into it. What do you think?
Apparently the kids that go less frequently don't settle in as well. If you do 2 days a week try to space them say a Monday and Friday so there isn't much time between. I guess
it makes sense, the kids who go full time become accustomed quicker. Good luck, to be honest, my son never loved it, but he didn't hate it either, he went mon, weds, fri. He absolutely loved kinder and loves school but childcare was never really his thing, so don't worry if it isn't all sunshine and rainbows lol
Start with short amount of time then build up from there. Sounds like you would benefit from counseling to help you feel safe