Helping my son deal with grief

Anonymous

Helping my son deal with grief

We had a cat who grew up with my kids ages 3 and 4. Unfortunately a couple of months a go an incident happened- My son left the door open and the cat got out, I startled him by loudly telling my son to catch the cat before he escaped outside. This caused the cat to get frightened and he bolted and ran into oncoming traffic and got run over. My son and I sore the whole thing and not thinking we both ran to see if the cat was ok. Well the cat was instantly killed on impact and it was not a very pretty sight for either of us to see. My son was and still is absolutely heart broken and traumatised. My daughter who thankfully didn't see the incident is sad as well but doesn't quite understand what happened. Anyway, I explained to them both as best I could what happened. We buried the cat, drew pictures to bury with him and we said a little prayer to send him off to rainbow bridge. But ever since my son has been so depressed, he cries every night because his cat is no longer with him in bed. He mopes around calling for his cat and has even on multiple occasions attempted to dig up the cat. I have offered to get him a new cat, but he refuses, he wants HIS cat back. It's absolutely breaking my heart to see my son so upset, but I have no idea how to help him. It's been a couple of months since the incident and I thought things would start getting better for him. When he goes to kindy he constantly asks about his cat, he draws pictures of his cat and basically every conversation I have with him is asking me about his cat... or re living the experience by talking in much detail about what happened (squished eye balls and all) I have tried to redirect the conversation to something else, Ive listened to him talk his feelings through but I don't know what else I can do to help him over come these feelings. He is a very sensitive little boy and has the biggest heart for animals :(

Posted in:  Loss & Grief, Parenthood Guilt, Kids

3 Replies

Anonymous

So sad, it's time to get some professional support. Speak to your GP about a referral to a child psychologist. He sounds stuck in the grieving process and there is professional help to help him move on.

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Anonymous

Massive apologies for what happened :(

This actually happened to my cousin however it was a dog in question (he was 5) - they were so distraught and didn't know who to call so they got a local vet to remove the body. The vet rang the next day to find out how the family were coping and they suggested immediately getting another dog just as a distraction. It was hard for them to do so but they followed the advice and it has helped immensely. The child blamed himself because he was the one who let the dog out but it has gone away over time. He also refused to want another pet but they just went and bought one home without him knowing and he was over the moon.

Personally, I would go and get a kitten say 3-6 months from the local shelter and bring it home. Don't let him help you pick it out and don't get one that looks like your last cat. A whole new cat for a new beginning.

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Anonymous

I would be traumatized too if I saw my beloved pet killed and I'm an adult! Get him to a counselor, perhaps an art therapist. Us sensitives need extra support, not only in grief, but in everyday life. I would get him a fluffy toy replica for now, for him to hug and talk to.

My tween son and I witnessed our cat lose the end of his tail in the back door at home, we both had trouble, as the image stays in your head. We took kitty to the vet and they stitch up the end but kitty now has a short tale to tell...

Sorry for your loss. Our pets are part of the family xx

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