To my DV neighbour:

Anonymous

To my DV neighbour:

To my neighbour,

I have the unfortunate experience of hearing your abuse. I hear you screaming down the phone, I hear you screaming at your child's mother when she drops off/ collects your young child, and I hear you screaming when she's left.

Sometimes the Police come to your house... that's because I call them. Every single time I hear the disgusting words and abuse you use towards your child's mother in front of your child, I call the Police.

When you are in your abusive mode, I never hear your ex yell back, but I hear your child cry. Just so you know, that behaviour makes you a dick of a father.

I was in an abusive relationship for ten years. For seven of those years I was a mother (and still am), and since then I've suffered further abuse resulting in VROs being put in place.

I can tell you my story, but you probably won't want to hear it because I am a woman. So let me tell you my children's story instead...

My daughter is 11. She is terrified of her father. He has called her a few names in the past but she's used to his name calling, she's most afraid of her father hurting her mother.

My son is 6. He once called his sister a 'f***ing s***' while we were driving in the car on the way to a court appearance as a result of their father's threatening and verbally aggressive behaviour. I pulled into the emergency lane and demanded to know where my son had heard that language... My daughter explained that that was the word their father used for his girlfriend when he was angry.

You might not think anything of it when you're yelling and screaming abuse at the top of your lungs, but I am your neighbour and I know the effect that behaviour has on others.

In case you're not aware, let me give you some insight...

Firstly, verbal and emotional abuse still equates to domestic violence if you are or have been in a relationship/living with a person. Domestic violence inculdes verbal, emotional, mental and/or physical violence.

My home is now my safe place from all of that. My children and I have VROs in place and I attend the Family Court on a regular basis, but my home is our safe place. Unfortunately though, domestic and family violence is prevelant. Thankfully, we are beginning to band together as communities to combat this behaviour. But when you become abusive, you scare my children and you bring back a lot of bad memories for me.

Don't be surprised that when you're behaving aggressively and in the loudest possible way, that I will pop my head up over our fence as a show of a third-party presence. I wish that somebody could have done that for me or called the Police during my ten years of abuse. But no one ever did. I wore it and hid it. And when I mentioned what was happening to my friends, they were so confused because he seemed like a nice guy, that they told me to "try harder."

Everyone thought he was a great guy.

I was the "difficult one."

Today I heard you screaming at her again. You called her a lot of names... "S***, c***, bi***." She was trying to drop your child off for a visit. You decided it was too early and sent her away with your child. Then this afternoon you were screaming down the phone demanding that she bring your child back. Within 10mins she was there and you continued with your abuse.

Yep. I called the Police again. They were there immediately. I listened as your demeanour changed instantly. You called the officers "Sir", even though you'd called the mother of your child a "c***.' You pretended like nothing had happened. You even went to the extent of saying that the noise was cause by your child crying over a toy. "Change overs are hard for him," you said.

You are a liar, sir. You are a manipulative, misogynistic abuser and I will report you every single time. Why? Because I am not only your neighbour. I am a woman, a mother and a DV survivor.

I have a strength you cannot comprehend.

4 Replies

Anonymous

You are amazing! You are the voice for those who lost theirs and in so thankful that the world has someone like you! As the partner of someone who grew up in horrible violence and emotional abuse I see everyday what happens to the kids caught in the middle of it all, Thankyou for being the voice and the strength for this family!

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Anonymous

I wish someone could tell her to stop. To not attempt to do the drop offs anymore. But the poor woman would be too afraid to say no, maybe shes too afraid to seek help.
That man is causing her child so much psychological damage and hes using the child to get to the mother. :(
Thank you for looking out for her. From someone surviving DV.

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Anonymous

You're fucking amazing, brave and one of the rare white lights in this world. There are men not as brave as you xxxx

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Anonymous

I wish you were my neighbour. I'm positive my neighbours can hear what goes on in my house, but the police never come. Thank you for caring.

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