Missing spark

Anonymous

Missing spark

A bit of a back story: we have had two kids in less than two years. I'm the sort of pregnant woman who spends her time being sick so my pregnancy was work, sleep, eat and when I was pregnant with my second, throw in looking after toddler into the equation.

We now have no boundaries stopping us from getting intimidate etc. However my partner has admitted that he no longer feels a spark between us. We are both willing to try however neither of us know where to start. In all honesty I find it difficult with two kids to do anything after they go to bed.

Had anyone rekindled their relationship or are we just holding on to something that will never be the same?

Posted in:  Relationships & Marriage

5 Replies

Anonymous

It's time to carve out that time. Start dating. Get a babysitter (grandma, grandpa, aunt, whoever) for a few hours one evening a week.
Go out, be adults together. You need to re-establish your relationship, before expecting to be intimate. Go to dinner, or a walk holding hands. Laugh together. Do something you did before you had kids.
Make out in the car, do things you did when you first started seeing each other. Work your way towards having sex.
If you are feeling run down and tired (do not wanting sex) then you both need to discuss changes to your routines so you have more energy. Discuss the barriers and how to remove them.

it's a great gift to your children to carve out time to date and renew your relationship.

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Anonymous

Go out and have sex in public somewhere you never have before. Tick stuff off your sexual bucket list together (just don't add other people as that will most likely make things worse)

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Anonymous

Do something exciting or different in the bedroom. Jump online together and pick out some toys to bring in.

As for not feeling like doing anything once the kids go to bed, I was the same. My yonungest is 10 months old and only the last two months my sex drive has tripled so there is hope. And I find if you're feeling like a super horn bag, it's going to rub off on your partner too and that might be the spark he feels like he is missing.

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Anonymous

Make a point of greeting one another when either one walks in the door. Stop what you're doing, look him in the eye, kiss n hug him, then go from there...

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Anonymous

Yep been in the same situation and it CAN change !
We have 3 kids and no family support and alone time is next to naught ... and I totally hear you on the can't be bothered thing ... BUT what I've come to realize is that although things are different and probably won't ever be the 'same' as such , this is an opportunity to redefine your relationship ! The truth is you have both changed you have new roles and responsibilities BUT the. Core you is still the same . Focus on who each other is , make a purposeful decision to recognize the other , say hello and I love you every day , carve out time for each other if you can with family support and do something together even if you can't be bothered (you'll be glad u did)
Do some exploring with sex ! I don't know about you but my body changed after having babies and I like different things In sex now ! It took us a bit to find our groove again but now we have and our sex is better then ever . The difference for us was making the deliberate effort to keep going and keep trying different things to break
Out of the rut! If your in a rut and u keep doing the same things over and over then your only going to get more stuck !

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