My daughter is turning 9 in a couple of weeks and she is asd. She is terribly unhappy and cries constantly that she has no friends. I dont either so i have no friends with kids. She started a new school this year due to a bullying issue with the last school. She still hasnt made a friend. She goes and sits in her lonely spot in the library at lunch time because she has no one. She just wants someone to connect with.
We are having a party for yer and thought it might help her make some friends but a couple of the girls refused to take the invites fron her. She was crushed and now cries she doesnt want the party.
I am struggling with ways to help her. Are there any play groups for school aged kids that are loners? Shes just looking for a friend really. She's loves her dolls which again is something she gets bullied for at her age.
Does anyone else have these issues? We have no support system really so it is very isolating.
It would be great to meet some people in a similar situation. We live in brisbane.
11 Replies
Contact your local autism association. They often run groups for children and adults. Other wise the Minds and Hearts clinic might know of something.
At a pinch in Melbourne there is the Yellow Ladybugs. They might have contacts in Brisbane.
Make sure you join ASD Facebook groups in your area. They are a HUGE resource.
I would be jumping onto Facebook and joining some local noticeboards, I can guarantee that there will be parents/kids in the same situation! Organise for a few families to meet up at the local playcentre/maccas and introduce them :) Also, maybe mention how she is having a party and was hoping for 10 kids/parents to come along - you will get an overwhelming response.
Could you possibly go to the special education unit/teachers aids and ask if there are any other children her age who also have asd?
There may be another kid just like her who is struggling to find a friend.
My heart actually broke reading this :( I don't live in Brisbane otherwise I'd definitely organise a play date as I have a daughter who is 8 this year. But I live about 2 hours away and my toddler doesn't handle long car rides.
my daughter loves long drives, where abouts do you happen to be
This is horrible. I feel for her so muc. Everyone has suggested what I would have.
But maybe another thing is, Can you chat to the school/teachers and get them to do more to encourage the kids to play along with each other?
My son has asd/adhd and we moved in 2015 resulting in him changing schools. It was a considerable distance so there wasn't a chance of seeing his old friend on weekends. He really struggled to make friends and used to go to his lonely spot in the library. My husband suggested scouts so we took him. This is an absolutely fantastic organization for children on the spectrum. He felt comfortable and a accepted going which was great and boosted his confidence in social interactions. Maybe try scouts with your daughter? There are a lot of girls that go. Goodluck. It's such a tough road xx
Does she do any after school activities? My daughter's friend that she met in music theatre was the same - asd and struggling with friends and confidence - but after starting music theatre, he has made friends with like-minded people and grown in confidence, from doing something he enjoys and is good at.
My daughter is now 13 but all through primary school was never good at making friends. She has a love of music and singing. I enrolled her in a singing school who do group classes. She has made many friends through this. Another Daughter has made some lovely friends through dancing lessons. My husband has always said he is glad he played sports because you join a team and you instantly have 12 friends. Girl Guides, art classes, church. So many options.
My heart breaks for your little girl. Have u spoken to her teachers at school? Maybe they can help. I know when I was at school our teachers would try encourage some of the "nicer" girls to include the girls that were left out. Also, what type of activities is she into. Sports? Music? Dancing? Martial arts? Or is there something you think she might be really good at but hasn't tried yet? Maybe you can get her involved in group activities outside of school depending on her interests.
Also I suggest, when it comes time to choose a highschool, if possible, encourage her to go to a highshool that's different to all these girls who are bullying her. Especially these ones refusing to take invites off her! That's horrible! Last thing u want is for them to continue this into her teens. Once she starts at a totally new school she can have a fresh slate. Just something to think about when the time comes in a couple of years. Wish you all the best. Xo
Ps- I liked dolls too until I was about 12. Other girls thought it was weird so I used to play dolls by myself. Hell, even today while my son checks out the Hot Wheels and Lego, you will find me looking at the Barbies! Haha!
It's so hard for us to see our kids unhappy like this and extra hard as a parent of a child with ASD. There are support group for families for kids with ASD, try to contact your local developmental department in the hospital and they can provide the information for the support group as well as social events for those kids. After school activities are great thing for any child. Maybe speak as well with the school and suggest to have a educational session about this so the kids will be able to be more sensitive and as well the teacher can email the parents and ask them to speak with their children and explain to them that no matter if the child is different, they should always be nice without mention your child name. A lot of parents are not aware about situations like this in school and they have no knowledge about ASD. I've been ask a few times, what I've done wrong that my son has ASD..... good luck. Big hugs xx