I'm not looking for judgement, I've finally realized how ridiculous my actions are and am looking for advice and tips to stop.
I am addicted to shopping mainly clothing for myself and my two kids. I spend upwards to $1000 per month, which my husband is not aware of as he doesn't look at our accounts but if he knew he would be disappointed.
I want to stop, I've tried to stop but I just can't!
Is there such things as programs/ AA for shopping addiction? I'm based just out of cairns so could travel there if that helps.
5 Replies
A psychologist can help you with this. Start by getting a referral from your GP. The psych can help you delve into any underlying emotional baggage, help identify triggers for shopping, teach you replacement behaviours for shopping.
Watch netflix documentaries the true cost and also Minimalism. Hopefully it will open your eyes to how consuming is just a big business thats been marketed at us in every way that we can actually believe we need to buy all this junk theyre selling us, that its the norm.
These docos might help you get your head around it, see that you cant buy buy buy without consequence. On a global scale, on a personal level. I hope it gives you a different way of thinking when youre considering your next purchase,
Seek help with this, it would be so hard on your own, you've called it what it is - it's an addiction and they don't just go away. Once there's a plan in place fess up to your husband, that way it's a confident "I'm so sorry..... but this is what I'm doing to get better, I hope you can be supportive while I work to beat this" instead of getting into an argument and neither of you having any answers for how to fix it.
Until you can get into see a psych, try to minimise the damage. If you're physically shopping either stay home or go to other places like a park, the beach, the library etc. If it's online delete your accounts, suspend the internet, hand over the credit cards or relinquish open access to the main accounts and transfer what you need to a separate account where you can only spend what is in it. These are just a few stop-gap measures that might help get you through until the appointment.
Tell your husband!
If he knew what was going on he may be able to help you.
How would you feel if he was spending $1000! Every month behind YOUR back?
Is this online shopping? If so, change all your cards over to debit, not visa.
Put all your money in to a shared account, so he can see your spendings and vice versa.
Go to the GP and get a referral to a psychologist.
They may be able to help you understand why you feel the need to shop.
Good luck.
I went through this. I came clean to hubby, and chose to give him my keycard and credit card. He gave me cash each day for what I needed. After about 6 months I felt ready to get my cards back.