Things are desperate and I wasn't sure who to turn to. I have a 6 year old daughter. She has been diagnosed with lv 1 asd and adhd.
I have noticed for a while now that alice seems to struggle with empathy. She knows what she is meant to say when she does things wrong but she doesn't seem to care. She will do this omg mum I'm so sorry I will never so it again. Also smiling after getting in trouble or while she is doing what she thinks she is getting away with what she is doing she is smiling. I'm so lost.
These holidays she has been difficult to say the least. Yes we knew this was going to be this way with not having a routine. I have been on holidays the last two weeks. My partner linda has a dog. She is a chihuahua she is tiny and is very friendly towards Alice.
In the past few weeks Alice has been pushing boundaries with me and she has been punished according. Time out, things taken off her etc. She just pushed and pushed. It's been a difficult few weeks.
Alice is been spending a lot of time in her day trying to get sally (the dog) to go to her. And if she doesn't stay with her she forces sally to do what she wants in the process she hurts her. She pushes her body down and makes her yelp. She covers her with blankets or toys so she can't escape. She also physically pushes her and stands on her tail.
I know you might be thinking it may be a normal kid. But when she is doing these things she is smiling. She is hurting sally and she is smiling. She gets in trouble and she smiles. She thinks no one is looking and after she gets in trouble She smiles. She doesn't seem to care. She knows to say sorry etc. But as soon as that is over she smiles. And then goes and does it again.
It's making me so worried about sally. She's only little. And I can tell alice 100 times not to go near her. The second I'm not in eyes view she's there again.
I don't know what to do and how to act. I'm at my wits end.
1 Replies
1 ASD mum to another, your child needs professional support. She needs a referral to a behavioural psychologist that specialises in autism, she needs a review by a speech therapist and she probably should be seen by an OT.
This is not something that requires 'punishment', she needs to be separated from the dog and she needs to be allowed to interact with the dog under very close supervision where correct behaviour is modelled and reinforced and other behaviour is immediately redirected/intervened on. Do NOT allow your daughter to be unsupervised with the dog.
Your daughter is not a psychopath, she just doesn't see things from the dogs point of view. She has no understanding of the consequences of her behaviour or how the dog is feeling. Good news, she CAN learn that. There are loads of ways to learn but you'll need professionals to help find her learning profile. That could be social stories, video modelling, and another 20 ways.
My son is now in his 20s and is hugely caring and gentle but he needed professional support from ASD experts to find the right ways to teach him those skills he hadn't developed yet.