Oh the ups and downs of life right? 
I’m not an expert, but wanted to share my experiences and hope it’s helpful for you. 
Kristy (the founder of The Imperfect Mum) has put some good boundaries in place over the years to protect us while serving on The Imperfect Mum. For those who have been with us for a long time, you may have noticed these. 
We no longer post questions late in the night, we have one day a week off - and we only check the inbox when we have the time and capacity to do so.
Can I be honest with you? Without you being upset? 

This page can be very taxing. 

SO many people to help and we feel helpless in a lot of situations, which (I know for me personally) leaves me drained. 
We often don’t see the fruits of our labour either. We hope we are helping? 
Recently I’ve had to step back from working here in the mornings.
Time management is not my forte, so I was getting up early to schedule your questions. 
But with life and all its problems – we need breathing space. Mornings is that alone time for me. 
Experienced counselor, David J. Riddell (from ‘Living Wisdom’) says: 
How can I choose to do something I have to do anyway, if I've lost all my motivation? 
Answer: Connect it back up with my long-term goal.        
I need to mentally reassess each tough day: What am I here for? What is the bigger picture? Who am I getting out of bed for? 
(I recently asked about your mornings – some of the responses were hilarious! Check them out here…..
That’s what this page is for and I don’t want me being honest with you deter you from writing in. We want to help you move on from A and see B and a better direction. 
We want to show you hope! We love to help. 
(Are we helping? We always appreciate hearing these encouragements. Please PM us!)
Yes, we do have some light hearted posts too though! 
Remember this recent post? "Mum life - Isn't it fun?"  Had me laughing out loud and sharing with my family some of your responses. Classic! Thank you!
But most of our questions are searching and hoping and wanting a better life. We get that.
Looking for hope
Getting deeper though, there is one of life’s punches that no-one is immune from. It takes time for even me (who tries a lot to be mentally healthy in order to help) to soldier on through. 
Nothing smashes like death. 

For those who are going through this at the moment, my biggest prayers are for you. 

Most issues I can coach my mind through – but death is like a big brick wall. 
There is nothing we can do. It’s over. And we mourn for the time we thought we would have, which is now gone. 
Where do you find hope in times like these? How does your head process this to keep on going? ( I actually really want to know! Please share in the comment section below....)
Like I stated earlier, I’m not expert – but through experience, I want to share my hope with you… 
But for now – the kids are up (it’s a holiday kids! You’re meant to sleep in!) so I better go.
Don't forget to let us know: Are we helping? Where do you find your hope on tough days? 
Hope continued” hopefully coming soon…. 
Big hugs

About the Author

Kelly has been enjoying volunteering on The Imperfect Mum page for years now, scheduling questions and working behind the scenes with the forever growing inbox!

Posted in:  Life Lessons, Kelly (IM2)

2 Replies


I found that dealing with death that I could help others. I found that without that experience I wouldn't be on the path I now take. I might've gone down one which was unhealthy, taken dangerous risks because I thought we were invincible. Death taught me we are not invincible. That life is here to be lived, enjoyed. By being safe! Keeping loved ones safe. Speaking up! Taking a stand when others hide so that they aren't seen as "uncool". Death has a positive to me. It made me live.


I have been running https://www.facebook.com/BipolarAwareness pretty much singlehandedly since 2009, I have automated most of it I had to following a couple of hospital admissions in 2010 for asthma. now they barely notice if I am there or not.

I know it makes a difference because they have told me.

or the police have after the fact. there have been at least a dozen suicides stopped and that is being conservative.

it wasn't built as a wall to post suicide notes on but some do on occasion and we deal with them. I have had skype credit on my account for the last 7 years specifically for calling police stations in various countries to track down users. I let it plod along otherwise the resources are a range without being too clinical there are patient advocate blogs there are those of professionals. it is more international than specific to any one country.

but it is very easy to burn out. I have had people offer to help on occasion.....and they don't realise they put on the accelerator and literally within day's they burn out......and I'm left bringing the page back down to earth

hence I do it solo.....

it can be a bit rocky.....Bipolar has a high rate of comorbidity with Borderline personality disorder...and is often misdiagnosed each for the other....

those with bipolar can be volatile when manic.....but that generally only lasts a couple of weeks....where as Borderline it's Chronic......we have a few "resident" commenters who take blog posts written by people who have never met them don't even know them as personal affronts....but everyone ignores them and just lets them tilt at their windmills after a while.....

you have quite a few of your own. I can fully understand how you get burned out.

quite a few tried for over 6 months to explain to these individuals that it has NOTHING to do with them....the writer doesn't know them....but its part of their disorder....they never will get it.

I used to use RSS Graffiti, however had to Shift to Twitterfeed when they shut it down. if you ever need resources just ask.

it's a good page and blog but it seems like there is a bit of an educational opportunity missed. as to on what subject and how to guide who knows.....it is pretty open ended though.