I have had this question going through my mind over and over and over.
Should I share? Should I keep this to myself?
I have many friends/colleagues/ business associates that read my blog so would it be silly of me to share such private information?
I then went on question myself. Well is that being completely honest? Or is it half a truth? Is it half a story? I thought further, I delved deeper. Why would I not tell people?
Was it the fear of being judged? Was it the fear of not being good enough? Was it the fear that people wouldn’t think I’m “cookoo”? Was it the fear that people may think I’m weak?
A voice within me said “You must share” Why hide from the truth?” ”Don’t try to be something you’re not”.
“Don’t let the pressure of what people think keep you from telling the truth”.
It’s actually something I really believe in.. Truth that is.. I’m not going to pretend I live in a perfect world. That shit doesn’t exist.
I wake up every day and I believe that you have a choice, of course you do. You can choose. But sometimes you need help and sometimes you need to choose that.
Upon reflection and… and actually I think I did know at the time that The Imperfect Mum fb page was sort of taking over… I would spend hours upon hours moderating the page. Pulling people into line..
There has been domestic violence issues where I had to ring the police. There has been child abuse allegations. This shit is real, it happens every day but my problem was I was taking it on. – (And I now know issues like these need to be dealt with professionals which i’m not).
When issues would arise my body would go tense, I would forget to breath, I would be riddled with pins and needles. This was nearly on an everyday bases I was taking on everyone else’s “stuff” I was carrying it around. It was weighing very heavy on me.
My husband lost me for about 6 months.. and I sort of lost myself.. So that’s when I took myself off to the doc’s and that’s when we both decided it was best for me to take them.
They have helped, they are certainly different to how they are perceived..
I’m certainly not saying “it’s the thing to do” and it’s certainly not for everyone.
It’s like a bit of a band-aid fix. With the help of my coach Kirr White I am slowly making some major changes which include an array of things including puting paremetres around the Imperfect Mum fb page, exercise, diet, meditation, some rituals to calm me .. If I don’t I’m not going to be any use to anyone.
Taking anti-depressants is not a long term thing for me, but its right for me right now.
So there you go, maybe an overshare for some, but you know what, I will tell you how it is and that’s how it is right now.
I will hold my head high. You know why?
“Because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”
Do you need to re-think the way your living? Do you need to simplify?